


The Exchange Student

by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (Ben is 17), (from Brendol. not detailed), (from Snoke), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arkanis Academy, Blow Jobs, Exchange Student, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Intercrural Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Mind Manipulation, Misunderstandings, Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Protectiveness, Underage - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 20:23:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles/pseuds/OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary: In exchange for political clout, Brendol Hux accepts the request of his wife’s friend – Senator Leia Organa-Solo – to invite her son, Ben, into their home for a “school exchange”. Armitage Hux is informed that he will be responsible for helping Ben settle in at the estate and Arkanis Academy, and ensure he has a memorable, enjoyable school year. At first Hux dreads the task set for him, especially when he sees how odd and shy Ben is. But before long Hux realizes that he and Ben have more in common than he suspected, and Hux can’t stop the budding affection he begins to feel towards Ben.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story started as a very short oneshot when I was scrolling Tumblr and saw some amazing Kylux fanart by [curlygingerbird](http://curlygingerbird.tumblr.com/). I then proceeded to lose control of the story and it turned into a full five chapters haha. I want to say a huge **THANK YOU** to curlygingerbird for granting me permission to share the link to her artwork which inspired this story, and also insert it into the story where it fits with the related scene. 
> 
> To avoid spoilers for earlier chapters, the artwork and link will be posted in Chapter 3 :)

_BH: Come to the main living room. Be prompt._

 

Hux frowned at the datapad in his lap, reading over the message from his father. He had no idea why he was being summoned; he had already eaten dinner with his mother in the dining room an hour ago. Hux hadn’t even known that his father had returned planet-side, thinking that Brendol was still off on another political schmoozing trip before his time got taken up when the Academy began again in two weeks. Regardless, a summons from his father was not something to be ignored and with a sigh Hux toed off his boots. He would just have to hope that he would still have time to walk the gardens after whatever his father had to say; it was one of the rare days the sun was out and Hux could see it edging towards the horizon.

 

Hux left his room in the west wing and headed for the large family room at the back of the house. Hux was the only one with a bedroom in the west wing. The second bedroom in the wing had originally been decorated for the younger brother Hux never had – lost to birthing complications that nearly stole Hux’s mother as well. Afterwards the room had been converted to a guest suite for visitors, and Hux never dared ask what happened to the crib and toys that disappeared as swiftly and easily as the animals on the walls were painted over.

 

His parents slept in their own master suite in the east wing of the house, which was also where Brendol’s work study was located. The main living room sat at the south end of the second floor, with a large curving staircase opening up into a foyer connecting the three wings. Downstairs was the dining room, kitchen, library, smaller living area for brief visitors, and in the basement lived the few servants that prepared the food, completed the cleaning and kept the house orderly and organized.

 

Mere minutes after receiving the message from his father, Hux entered the living room. He could still see the edge of the approaching sunset but turned his gaze to his parents who sat across from one another in their favourite armchairs. Evangeline, his mother, had her nose tucked in a book and Brendol was busy reading over what looked like briefings – perhaps regarding Academy affairs needing sorting before the school year began.

 

Hux cleared his throat quietly. “You asked for me?”

 

They both looked up and his mother beckoned him closer with a raised hand and a smile. Hux stepped towards her although hesitantly; the more friendly and tender his mother, the less Hux would like whatever his father had to say. “Is that anyway to greet me now that I’ve returned home?” Brendol said gruffly, setting his pile of pages aside before levelling Hux with a critical gaze.

 

“I’m glad to see you home and well.” He had said the words so many times that it didn’t even sound like a lie anymore. “I didn’t know you had returned.”

 

“While I would rather continue my important political work, the Academy would fail without me returning to keep it in shape,” Brendol stated. Hux said nothing. “And I wanted to speak with you about something before the school year began – _we_ wanted to speak to you.”

 

Hux turned his gaze to his mother’s green eyes, so similar to the colour of his own. “Do you remember Senator Leia Organa-Solo?” she asked him. Hux didn’t know if her voice was so quiet and timid because of her years dealing with her husband, or if it was a natural lilt. He had decided years ago that he probably didn’t want to know the answer.

 

“Vaguely,” he answered. With his father so influential in political, military and academic circles, there had been no way for Hux to avoid an upbringing with detailed lessons about who was who, who _knew_ who, and who was important. Apparently he had met this Senator once on an off-planet visit when he was very young but the memory was too hazy to recall. “I remember what I’ve been taught about her,” he added, to appease his father.

 

Evangeline reached up to twine her fingers with Hux’s own and Hux knew then to brace himself. “She contacted me recently and told me about her son, Ben. He’s seventeen now, only a year younger than you, and apparently he’s been feeling a bit wayward. Leia thinks some time off-planet would be good for him.”

 

Hux consciously avoided gripping his mother’s fingers too tightly. He turned back to Brendol when his father continued the explanation. “She has requested that we allow Ben to stay with us and attend the Academy, and we have agreed. He will stay for the first semester and, if it is mutually agreed upon, the rest of the school year as well.” Brendol laced his fingers in his lap. “I’m sure I don’t need to stress the importance of making his stay an extremely positive one.”

 

“No sir,” Hux confirmed, jaw set. “What classes will he be taking?”

 

“The same ones as you.” Hux raised an eyebrow. “Extra tutelage can be arranged if the subjects pose too advanced for him, though we have been assured that Ben has received extensive homeschooling and should be capable of keeping up.”

 

“He’ll be taking the guest suite,” his mother chimed in. She was still smiling even though she must know of the dread and displeasure mounting inside Hux. “I think this will be good for you too. Friends are important,” she added gently.

 

Hux knew he wasn’t the easiest to get along with. Small talk wasn’t of interest to him and he could come across as prickly at best when talking to someone he felt wasn’t worth his time. Social ties were important to advance successfully in the world; Hux accepted that. But skill and merit were important too, and Hux had that in spades. “I will do my best to make him feel welcome and have a good experience.”

 

“I expect no less,” Brendol said, reaching for his papers again. “Any final questions?”

 

“When will he arrive?”

 

“A week before school begins,” Brendol answered.

 

“Understood,” Hux said as he carefully pried his hand from his mother’s grasp. He would do what his parents asked of him – for his mother because he wanted to and for his father because he had no other choice.

 

#

 

Hux had a week to enjoy what he now knew to be the last of his freedom. Before he had granted himself two weeks, thinking he could do whatever he wanted to do until school began. But now that had been cut to one week since as soon as their guest arrived Hux would have to dedicate a significant amount of his time to getting Ben settled in and comfortable. Hux reminded himself that it was only for a few months – a year at most. After that he would be graduating and as long as he kept his school performance up, he would have endless job and military positions to choose from.

 

 _I can do this_ , he told himself as he watched the shuttle coming in to land at port. Hux stood a short distance from the loading dock, flanked by his parents on either side. There had been a debate about whether Hux should greet their guest alone or if the whole family should attend. In the end Brendol decided that it was important to show an image of a unified, welcoming family, and they had all piled into one of the family cars even though Hux suspected his father wanted to be here even less than Hux himself did. Evangeline, by comparison, had her hands clasped together with excitement, commenting on how she hadn’t seen Ben “since he was bundled in a shawl as a newborn.”

 

Hux’s expression remained neutral, his hands clasped behind his back. He was going to do what was ordered of him but he wasn’t going to skip around with false glee either. Hux knew very little about Ben, other than what he had been taught about the Organa-Solo family in general. He knew about the Senator’s sway in the galaxy, and of her smuggler husband. He knew about the Skywalker family line, and the tendency towards Force sensitivity. But other than that, Hux didn’t know what sort of person Ben would be, let alone if they’d be friends. For now he figured he’d have to wait and see.

 

The shuttle docked and the loading ramp lowered. A minute later someone walked down the ramp dragging a travel trunk behind them and, after a moment of hesitation, walked towards them. As he approached Hux took in the young man’s appearance. Ben looked taller than him, although only slightly. He was almost as thin as Hux though judging by the shape of his body – the broadness of his chest and the flexed muscles in his uncovered forearms – there was potential for muscle definition. Ben’s outfit couldn’t scream ‘off planet’ more; a loose beige tunic with brown leggings and tall boots. The whole outfit was terribly juxtaposed to Hux’s military ensemble.

 

When Ben got close enough Hux could make out the details of his face. Ben had dark brown eyes and large lips, with a nose that was just a little too big to properly fit his face. Hux took note of a few freckles and moles dotting his skin and of the single braid with a bead woven into Ben’s otherwise wavy black hair. All in all, Hux wasn’t impressed, but he was mildly intrigued.

 

The trunk dropped with a _thunk_ to the ground and Ben straightened, looking them all over before his eyes rested on Hux. “Hello, I’m Ben.” His voice was deep, undeniably pleasant. And although Ben sounded a bit sullen and halted, Hux couldn’t fault him for that. This seemed to be the work of two political women who thought they knew what was best for their unwilling sons.

 

Knowing his duty, Hux held out a hand in offering. “Welcome. I’m Armitage, and these are my parents—”

 

His fingers had barely brushed Ben’s own when Hux’s father stepped forward, taking over the handshake. “Brendol Hux and my wife, Evangeline,” he introduced them both, still shaking Ben’s hand. “I trust your voyage was smooth.”

 

“It was—”

 

“We’re so happy you chose to stay with us for a semester,” Evangeline chimed in with a bright smile. She meant no harm but Hux knew she could be just as overbearing as his father.

 

“Uh… thanks.” Ben offered a stiff smile in return.

 

At last Brendol released Ben’s hand, and Hux noticed Ben subtly massage his freed hand with his other one. Brendol and Evangeline had already started to walk towards the car, listing all the things Arkanis had to offer and what Ben had to look forward to. They didn’t see it but Hux caught the slight wince when Ben’s fingers brushed over reddened skin where Brendol had gripped too hard. Ben looked startled when he saw Hux watching, perhaps worried Hux would take offence, but Hux just bent down and grabbed the handle of Ben’s trunk.

 

“Come on.”

 

They got the trunk loaded and then the car engine started. Ben and Hux were tucked in seats side by side and Hux’s parents sat across from them, continuing to talk. They seemed to take turns between Evangeline describing the many sights and activities on Arkanis and Brendol boasting about the quality of the Academy and the courses Ben would be taking alongside Hux. There was no point in Hux even attempting to start a conversation of his own with Ben; even if he got a word in, he doubted Ben would feel comfortable enough to answer honestly in front of his parents.

 

Thankfully the car ride back home was relatively short and once they were back in the house, Brendol and Evangeline peeled away. They had completed their part and now the rest fell on Hux. “I’ll show you your room,” Hux offered, grasping for the trunk handle again. The thought of carrying it up a flight of steps had been a daunting one, but with Ben holding the other handle and keeping the trunk aloft between them, it was an easy task to complete. He nudged the guest suite door open with a hip and then set the trunk down. “Here it is.”

 

Ben set the other end of the trunk down and looked around. The guest room was meant for political and military visitors so Brendol had spared no expense. The bed was large, as was the walk-in closet and adjoining refresher. The room also had a couch and a desk by one of the windows, already equipped with a console Ben could use if he hadn’t brought one of his own. Ben’s room, like Hux’s, faced west, though it was impossible to tell since the sun was currently at its midday height.

 

“It’s very nice,” Ben complimented. He had returned to massaging the hand Brendol had shaken. Other than this fidgeting, Ben’s body was tense. “I really appreciate the hospitality your family has shown—”

 

“Don’t do that.”

 

Ben stiffened further and glanced over at him nervously. “Don’t do what?”

 

Hux shut the door entirely and leaned against it, finally releasing the military stance he had kept while within Brendol’s sights. “I get enough posturing from my parents; I don’t need it from you as well. And I bet this wasn’t your idea any more than it was mine.”

 

The tension in Ben’s body melted away and his shoulders sagged forward. “Not exactly, no.” Hux noticed the way Ben’s throat constricted as he swallowed hard, sending his Adam’s apple bobbing, but he wouldn’t ask about the exact circumstances. If Ben wanted Hux to know, he would tell him.

 

“But regardless, we’re stuck with each other. So let’s at least try to make it bearable, alright?” Hux pressed on. It helped knowing that Ben had the same mindset about this as Hux did, but that didn’t mean Hux wouldn’t still deliver the promise to his parents of making this a good visit for Ben if possible. Hux wasn’t one to accept failure, especially without a fight.

 

Ben nodded and gave a small smile, this one more genuine than the one given in front of the shuttle. “Yeah, alright.”

 

“Good.” Hux straightened and put his hand on the doorknob but didn’t open it yet. “I can give you a tour once you’ve settled in. Just come to my room; it’s the next door down the hall from yours.”

 

Ben nodded again in understanding and bent down to begin undoing the latches on his travel trunk. Hux exited the room and returned to his own, glad for a chance to switch back into more comfortable attire. He would need to wear his military outfit every day at school – his father insisted on maintaining the image – so he might as well enjoy his leisure clothes while he still could. Hux chose a simple white button-up and worn black slacks, anticipating the mud from the overnight rain if they ventured outdoors.

 

Once he was changed Hux settled in on his couch with his datapad, playing a game until Ben decided to appear. Hux still felt a needling curiosity about their new guest, which had increased once he realized that they felt the same about this arrangement, but he forced himself to be patient. Ben would be here for at least a few months; there would be plenty of time to learn more. Plus, if they were going to clash then Hux would like to avoid that realization for as long as possible to keep things civil.

 

An hour had passed and Hux was just beginning to think about lunch when there was a knock at the door. At Hux’s call, Ben pushed open the door and entered slowly. “It looks a lot like mine,” Ben commented as he looked around, taking a few steps closer towards the couch but not getting close enough to sit down.

 

“They were designed to be the same, originally,” Hux stated as he powered down his datapad and set it aside. He stood up and took silent note that Ben definitely had an inch or two on him, height wise.

 

Ben frowned in confusion. “They designed the guest suite and the rooms for their only son to look the same? You’d think they’d want yours to be…” Ben shrugged, struggling to find the word, “special.”

 

“Your room was originally going to belong to a younger brother who died at birth,” Hux said. His tone was impassive; he had never met the brother he would never know so it was hard to act like he was hurt by the loss. There were times that Hux thought it might be nice to have a brother – someone else to take his father’s attention away – but most days he didn’t even think about it. “Don’t worry about it,” he added when he noticed Ben’s grimace.

 

“Sorry,” Ben mumbled.

 

Hux waved him off. “Want a tour or lunch first?” The grumble of Ben’s stomach was answer enough and Hux smirked. “Follow me.”

 

Dinner was the only meal that the whole family ate together in the dining room so Hux brought Ben directly to the kitchen where they made sandwiches. Hux was accustomed to the servants making the food but he didn’t want to look like a spoiled brat and knew he had made the right call when Ben seemed to relax further at seeing Hux do things on his own. Since the sun was out they took their plates onto the back patio to eat, Hux sitting half under a sun umbrella to avoid a burn.

 

“The sun is nice,” Ben commented after a few minutes, both of them eating in relative silence.

 

Hux sent a squinted glance at the sun and then over at Ben. “Don’t get used to it. Once summer ends you’ll probably never see it again.” Ben hummed in response and, after another minute of silence, Hux forced himself to reciprocate the conversation. “What’s the weather like on your planet?” As soon as he said the words he wanted to wince; was talking about the weather the best he could manage? But it was too late now, so he waited for an answer.

 

Ben chewed on the last bite of his sandwich with a thoughtful stare out across the gardens. “Warmer, on average, with less rain and wind. And I didn’t have to pray for the sun the way I feel I’ll need to here.” Ben set his empty plate aside and Hux piled his own empty one on top. “Have you been to many planets?”

 

“More when I was younger,” Hux replied. “My parents would take me with them when they’d go to political events. You?”

 

“Almost none at all,” Ben said, looking over at Hux and then away again just as quickly. “My dad was rarely planet-side but he couldn’t bring a kid into his work. Well, he probably would’ve but my mother put her foot down. My mother was usually busy with off-planet events as well but she was too scared to bring me along.”

 

Hux quirked an eyebrow, confused by the odd hesitance in Ben’s words. “Scared of what? You getting kidnapped or something?” Hux knew the Organa-Solo bloodline was valuable but was it _that_ valuable?

 

A sharp, bitter bark of laughter escaped Ben before he could quell it behind tightly pressed lips. “Sometimes, maybe.”

 

“Then what…?”

 

“Can you give me that tour now?” Ben asked. His gaze was imploring when those brown eyes landed on him.

 

Hux huffed with slight annoyance, taunted by the unsolved puzzle he had accidentally stumbled upon. But he reminded himself that he had lots of time to learn more, and if he was in Ben’s position he probably wouldn’t tell secrets to a near-stranger either. “Yeah, let’s go.”

 

He handed off the plates to the servants when they passed the kitchen and then Hux took Ben around the rest of the house. Hux pointed out each room and added tips on when Ben would need to go to – or avoid – certain rooms. The dining room for dinners, promptly at 1800 hours; the kitchen for breakfast before school; avoiding the main living room unless Ben wanted to get roped into a debate with Brendol, and so on.

 

Ben was mostly silent throughout the tour but seemed to perk up when they returned to the outdoor patio. Since they were both in boots Hux took them through the gardens and across the lawn to the small gym attached to the garage with the family cars. There were a few workout machines as well as a section of mats with open space to practice hand-to-hand or melee fighting. Hux was more adept at shooting but the only shooting range available to him was at the Academy.

 

“You can come out here and use it at any time,” Hux explained as he flicked on the lights. He skimmed his eyes over Ben’s form as subtly as he could manage. “Do you have much training?”

 

“My dad taught me to shoot a pistol but I’m better at melee when I need to use a weapon,” Ben told him, eyes still taking in the gym and missing Hux’s assessing gaze. “I practiced with a bo staff until I was allowed to start training with a lightsaber.”

 

“You’ve trained with a lightsaber?” Now Hux would admit, if only to himself, that he was somewhat impressed. While it was technically possible for anyone to wield one, the weapon was essentially left for the Force-sensitive individuals who could handle the blade without losing limbs.

 

Ben must’ve picked up on the interest in Hux’s voice because he turned and smiled. Though there was conflict in Ben’s eyes, his smile was smug. “Yes, since I was thirteen. Would you like to see?”

 

Hux’s eyes widened. “You brought it with you?”

 

“Yeah,” Ben’s smile widened, and then wavered. “Is that okay?”

 

Brendol had talked extensively about how important it was to have powerful allies, especially when they possessed a skill or resource you yourself did not have. And yet Hux knew that Brendol was skeptical about the Force at best, antagonized by it at worse. “I’m sure my father knows that you have training but it would probably be better to not let him see you.”

 

“Is he against the Force?” Ben sounded resigned, as if he was accustomed to this.

 

Hux was careful with his words. “He sees it as a tool or weapon and nothing else.” And as much as Ben was still a near-stranger, Hux didn’t want Brendol looking at Ben that way anymore than he already was with Ben as the son of a prominent senator.

 

Ben’s smile was long gone by now. “I think I understand.”

 

“But…” Hux added, taking a half-step closer. “We could come back at night and you could show me.” He was trying to not appear overeager but Hux was certain his interest was in his eyes.

 

“Yes.” Ben’s lips quirked upward. “I’d like that.”

 

#

 

Long after Hux knew his parents had retired for the evening, Hux slid out of bed and walked down the hall to tap on Ben’s door. Apprehension and anticipation twisted in his gut at the thought of this. He was allowed to walk around the house and grounds any time of day or night but he had never bothered before; there was no reason to do so. And there was something excitingly sneaky about moving around a dark, sleeping household.

 

Ben was still dressed and opened the door almost immediately. Clouds had returned to overtake the sky around sunset so there was no moonlight but Hux thought he could make out the shadow of something hooked on Ben’s belt. Hux pressed a finger to his lips and then together they walked down the stairs and outside, dashing across the grass and into the gym.

 

Hux reached for the light switch but hesitated when Ben said, “leave them off.”

 

Hux weathered his bottom lip. “If you trip on something and break your neck my parents—”

 

“I won’t trip,” Ben chuckled, voice closer than Hux realized. “I don’t need light to see if I’m focused on the Force. Now just watch.” As Ben continued to talk his voice drew further away towards the mats on the floor.

 

In the near-darkness Hux strained his hearing. He listened to Ben’s booted feet compressing the mats, and something metal unclipping from a belt. A moment later the room was lit up by a pulsing blue blade of energy, which gave off a quiet hum and enough static energy to cause Hux’s hair to rise on end. Ben held the blade out ahead of him for a second and then twirled it a few times, the passing blue light illuminating his face repeatedly with each sweep.

 

“It’s blue,” Hux croaked out for the sake of saying something, finding his mouth suddenly dry. 

 

Ben’s twirling paused and he glanced over. “Are you surprised?”

 

Hux recalled his lessons: Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber had been blue, and Darth Vader’s had been red. Had Hux been expecting something other than what he saw? “I’m not sure,” Hux admitted. “Do the colours mean anything? I know there have been…variations in the past.”

 

Ben lowered the tip of the blade towards the floor and Hux’s heart jumped. Only then did he realize how quickly his heart had been stuttering already. “This is a training saber for Jedi in training. As far as I know they’re all blue. But when I turn eighteen and graduate I’ll be allowed to choose my own crystal and build my own lightsaber.”

 

“So you’re training to be a Jedi?” He doubted his father would be impressed; it was unlikely that Jedi ethics would coincide with Brendol’s ambitions and methods.

 

Ben stepped closer, lightsaber still gripped in one hand. There was something about Ben’s dark eyes lit up by the blade’s energy; something ethereal. “Would you be less scared of me if I said I was?”

 

Hux scowled. “I’m not scared.”

 

“Your heart is racing,” Ben accused, eyes narrowed in return. “I can feel it.”

 

“Adrenaline, nothing more,” Hux stated firmly. “I’ve never seen a lightsaber outside of holo videos and the Force is a variable I can’t grasp or calculate. It’s unnerving. It doesn’t scare me though; nor do you.”

 

In the blink of an eye Ben was in Hux’s personal space, one hand wrapped around the front of his unprotected neck. His other hand with the lightsaber came up behind Hux, bracketing him in. “I could’ve been sent here to kill you,” Ben whispered harshly, barely heard over the ongoing hum of the blade.

 

Hux reached a hand up and grasped at Ben’s hand against his throat, mindful of avoiding sudden movements near the pulsing lightsaber. “Not with the way you’re trembling,” he refuted, and pulled at Ben’s fingers with slow but steady pressure.

 

There was a moment of resistance and then Ben pulled his hand away, the lightsaber powering off in his other hand. After the bright light of the lightsaber, the darkness of the gym was consuming and Hux blinked quickly in an attempt to gain some night vision. Ben was still standing close enough that Hux could hear the shuddering of his breathing. “You’re really not scared of me,” Ben murmured; part statement, mostly question.

 

“No,” Hux said again. “Should I be?”

 

“I—no. No.” Ben sighed.

 

As Hux’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he caught the pained expression on Ben’s face. He softened his voice. “Then what the kriff was that about?”

 

“Everyone back home is scared of me,” Ben confessed brokenly, head hung low. “Except maybe my cousin Rey but she’s too young to know better. That’s why I got sent away – sent _here_. And why my mother was always too scared to bring me places when I was young; in case I lost control.”

 

“It looked like you were in control,” Hux observed. In control enough that if Ben _did_ pose a threat to Hux’s wellbeing, there was nothing anyone could do to get in his way. But at the same time, Ben had been in control enough to hold a lightsaber what felt like centimetres from Hux’s skin and not even leave the hint of a burn.

 

“Yes, I have spent years honing my craft in the hope that it would make everyone less nervous around me. But the stronger and more skilled I became, the more everyone shied away,” Ben explained. “They fear I will become my grandfather and go to the Dark side.”

 

Hux realized they were still standing very close together; closer than he preferred to be with others. He didn’t put distance between them though. Although Hux wanted to prove himself to be his own man as he grew older, he acknowledged that he was moulded by his father’s influence. The First Order was what Hux someday wanted to work for, not the New Republic. A Jedi would never condone those goals, but a Sith may.

 

“I think…” Hux spoke slowly, carefully, “that a red lightsaber would suit you well.”

 

Their eyes met and Ben’s gaze was searching. Then Ben shook his head, breaking eye contact. “I don’t want to think about it anymore right now. The one thing I was excited about by coming here was not having to think about it.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hux apologized, surprised to realize that he actually meant it. Ben was on a new planet with strangers, feeling like he was cast away by the only family he knew. And barely twelve hours after meeting him Hux was trying to twist Ben to his advantage. Sometimes he felt he was too much like his father. “Thanks for showing me the lightsaber though.”

 

“You liked it?” Ben asked quietly, gaze returning alongside a shy smile. “I could show you more sometime.”

 

Hux wouldn’t deny the slight thrill he felt at the thought. “I’d enjoy that.”


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the last week before school started was spent primarily around the estate, though Hux and Ben did make a trip into town to get Ben some supplies he hadn’t thought to bring with him. Hux was unaccustomed to having someone around him all the time since his parents were often busy and they didn’t share a lot of interests – entertainment wise. Evangeline had played with Hux when he was small but now that he had grown up she spent more time with her friends in town, reading or gardening. Brendol was rarely home at all when the Academy wasn’t in session and his company wasn’t exactly enjoyable.

 

Hux had expected to get tired of Ben’s company quite quickly but that didn’t end up happening. Instead Hux was left to entertain himself in the mornings until Ben rolled out of bed – it had only taken one day for Hux to learn that Ben didn’t wake up nearly as early as him. Then Ben would knock on his door and they’d track down either breakfast or lunch depending on the hour.

 

After that their activities depended on the weather. As autumn edged closer the rain returned, so the rare afternoons where it wasn’t actively raining they’d go for walks through the forest that bordered the southern edge of the estate. Ben seemed fascinated at seeing different wildlife and foliage from what he was accustomed to and Hux liked to stay in shape, especially knowing he would need to be fit for some of his senior year classes.

 

The rest of the time they would play games or watch videos in Hux’s room, or spend their time in the gym. While exercising had been a necessary chore that Hux completed diligently, it had always bored him nearly to tears. With Ben it proved to be a more enjoyable activity, especially when they would spar on the mats. Hux had to swallow his wounded pride as best he could when Ben almost exclusively won their matches but it was still worth it. Ben taught him a lot of new techniques and Hux suspected he could show his own ability once they got to the shooting range at the Academy.

 

Ben’s lightsaber was never brought to the gym or even mentioned unless it was the middle of the night after everyone else had gone to bed. Not that Hux minded, even though his curiosity mounted by the day. He liked seeing the spinning of the blade in the near-darkness of the gym; each flicker and pulse of the energy blurred over his vision like a mythical dance that spoke of something far beyond Hux’s understanding. And once Ben had been assured that Hux wasn’t scared, he seemed to thoroughly enjoy showing off his techniques with the lightsaber. Knowing the conflict Ben’s ability had caused for the younger man back home, Hux didn’t want to take that away from him.

 

Before Hux even realized it, school would be starting the next day. Hux didn’t really have any friends at the Academy other than those who tried to build ties with the Commandant’s son, so he wasn’t excited for any social reunions. However, he was looking forward to some of his classes, having had more freedom to choose what he was most interested in studying for his last year alongside the mandatory classes that would ensure he was qualified to slip immediately into a military position after graduation.

 

Ben was more apprehensive than excited, admitting that most of his schooling had been in a home-school setting with his parents or uncle; only his Jedi training was completed in the company of other students of various ages. While Hux liked to think that he wasn’t horribly superficial, he did understand the importance of image and how others perceived you, whether it was peers or teachers. This was why he looked over Ben’s outfit critically when they had returned to Ben’s room after dinner.

 

“Is that really what you’re going to wear?”

 

Ben looked over at Hux and then down at himself. “What’s wrong with it?”

 

Ben was dressed as he normally was; whether it was customary on his home planet or a personal preference, Hux didn’t know. Ben favoured loose tunics of soft fabrics with long sleeves, often cinched around his waist with a leather belt. He paired these shirts with sturdy leggings and the same boots he had worn stepping off the shuttle. Also, while Hux knew Ben showered like everyone else, a curl near his face always ended up in a braid secured with a bead.

 

“You look odd,” Hux told him frankly.

 

Ben levelled him with a stare. “You haven’t said a thing about it all week.” 

 

Hux shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter while we’re at home as long as you’re dressed appropriately. But you’re already going to be the new kid and dressed like that you’re going to stick out. Some people might even make fun of you.”

 

“Are you afraid I’ll embarrass you?” Ben accused, eyebrows knitted together. Then he spoke again before Hux could decide how to answer that. “Well I assure you I’d look far worse dressed like how you dress in your school photos.” Ben must’ve taken note of the school portraits dotted around the house, seeing Hux in one of his military-esque outfits with slicked back hair.

 

Hux bristled. “Are you saying _I_ look bad dressed that way?”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Ben sounded exasperated. “The style just won’t suit me, trust me.”

 

“I don’t believe you,” Hux crossed his arms. “You should at least try.”

 

“Why? To fit in?” Ben crossed his arms in a mirror of Hux’s stance, looking ready to spit fire. “Pardon me if I don’t give as much of a shit about that as you do. I gave up on that goal years ago when I realized nothing would ever make me normal.”

 

“Normal is overrated,” Hux said through gritted teeth. “But image is still important.” For all the relaxed, easygoing conversations they had shared over the week, it now felt like Hux was trying to teach a simple concept to a petulant child.

 

“ _Why_?” Ben pressed him for an answer. “Give it ten years and you’ll outrank everyone in your year and probably even most of the Academy staff. You’re the sort; I can tell. So who cares what they think?”

 

Hux was a bit flustered from the roundabout compliment but did his best to stay focused. “I still have to get there. When I outrank them and have earned their respect through ability and experience, fine. But right now I need them to like me. I need them to support and recommend me.”

 

“Not that it even matters having a father like yours,” Ben huffed.

 

Hux’s hands balled into fists tight enough that his nails cut grooves into his palms. The spike of pain was enough to keep Hux’s head clear so he remembered that he couldn’t murder the visiting son of Senator Organa-Solo. “I will earn my achievements on my own, _thank you very much_. And do not presume to know _anything_ about what my father would or wouldn’t do.” Hux mentally brushed aside the memory of a belt hitting skin when his grades had slipped.

 

Ben seemed to physically unravel, arms falling to his sides and shoulders slumping. “If you bring me everything I need I’ll try the outfit, if only to say ‘ _I told you so_.’”

 

There was a tension in the air between them that Hux didn’t know how to name, let alone address, so he exited the room without a word. He returned a few minutes later with a pair of slacks, an overshirt and the current container of his hair gel. Hux hadn’t bothered bringing any boots, knowing that they wouldn’t fit Ben’s larger feet. Even the other clothing might be a bit small considering Ben’s height and broader shoulders. Hux figured if Ben relented, they could put in a custom order for him.

 

Ben took the offerings into his own hands and disappeared into the refresher, kicking the door closed with more force than necessary. Hux rolled his eyes and sat on the couch, waiting. A few minutes later the door clicked open and Hux glanced over. It took all of his self-control to stop his snort of laughter, though he still felt his lips twisting up into a smile he couldn’t control.

 

“I look ridiculous,” Ben groused.

 

And truly he did. The pants fit except that they ended slightly above Ben’s ankles. The overshirt was a lost cause, the buttons straining against the width of Ben’s chest. And his hair… Hux covered his smirk with one hand and beckoned Ben closer with the other, getting Ben to sit down on the couch beside him. Ben was still fidgeting with his hair, which seemed determine to stick up on end despite the gel, when he sat down glumly.

 

Trying to school his features away from absolute amusement, Hux coated his fingers in a bit more gel and then slid them through Ben’s hair. He noticed the way Ben’s eyelids fluttered closed at the sensation and Hux remembered the feeling when Evangeline used to do this for Hux when he was younger. Hux pushed back and flattened Ben’s hair until it was in place, and then Hux sat back to consider his work.

 

“Oh dear.”

 

He hadn’t realized how large Ben’s ears were when his black hair was covering them. Now it was impossible to ignore. With Ben’s hair held away from his face, every feature stood out even more.

 

“I told you so,” Ben said sullenly.

 

Hux couldn’t help it; he burst out laughing. “I’ll admit it: I was wrong. I’ll never bring it up again. Just _please_ go shower.”

 

“I hate you,” Ben grumbled as he stood from the couch and walked quickly back to the refresher, disappearing from view. Hux just kept laughing until tears streamed down his face.

 

#

 

“You ready?”

 

Ben looked out of the car’s tinted back window and sighed. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

“Don’t worry, we have every class together so I’ll be with you,” Hux reassured him as he stepped out of the family car. Ben followed suit and together they started walking up the lawn towards the main entrance. Brendol had taken his own car and arrived earlier, ahead of all the students arriving for their first day of school. “And all of the instructors have already been told about you so it’ll just be business as usual.”

 

“Except none of this is ‘usual’ for me,” Ben mumbled, reminding Hux again that Ben was not only from another planet, but he was also normally homeschooled.

 

“You’ll be fine,” Hux said quietly in return before leading them towards the assembly hall for the start-of-year address. Hux’s father as well as the Academy president each gave a welcoming speech which sounded more like a laundry list of what they expected their students to accomplish. After that there was a reminder of school rules and then everyone except the new students were dismissed, the youngest staying behind for their tour and more detailed introduction to the Academy.

 

“Don’t I have to stay as a new student?” Ben asked but matched Hux’s pace as they walked through the halls among the bustling crowd.

 

Hux shook his head. “My father assured the staff that I would adequately give you a tour and get you situated. Besides, you’d stand out even more than you already do, towering over all those kids,” Hux said with a small smirk, sending Ben a side-eyed glance when he remembered yesterday afternoon.

 

“I hate you,” Ben informed him again, though without any real bite to his words.

 

From the information sheet Hux had received a few days before school started, Hux had learned where his and Ben’s homeroom class would be. He got them there ahead of the crowd, meaning they could pick their seats. Hux took the seat in the front row and closest to the window, and Ben took the seat behind him. This would be where they came every morning for attendance, announcements, and questions before heading off to their classes.

 

The class schedule Hux and Ben would share held academics in the mornings and more physical training in the afternoons. Hux had signed up for Advanced Tactics, Weapon Design, Political History, and Command Protocol. These would fill their mornings and the afternoons would include fitness training and alternating days of long and close range fighting. On the fifth afternoon of each week they were to study less common weapons, and how they could be used effectively in different situations.

 

As the classroom filled up, a few people approached Hux to shake his hand and offer small talk about their summer vacations. Hux indulged them only because he knew actively antagonizing them wouldn’t accomplish much, even though he knew the students’ real goal was to win over the Commandant’s son. Hux politely introduced Ben to each of them, though they were as uninterested in Ben as Ben seemed to be with them. Hux didn’t miss other students at their desks sending glances Ben’s way but then the professor was walking into the room and everyone returned to their seats, eyes facing forward.

 

“It’s going to be a long semester,” Ben commented as he and Hux piled their bags into their newly-assigned lockers fifteen minutes later. They had been dismissed from homeroom and given ten minutes to set up their new lockers before they needed to walk to their first class of the day.

 

Hux didn’t need to look around to feel the eyes on them. “You’ll be old news soon, though they’ll probably always stare because you’re with me.”

 

Ben had already stored his bag and closed his locker, which he was now leaning against. His arms were crossed over his chest as he scanned the hall. If Hux didn’t know better he would almost call the posture protective. “Doesn’t it bother you, having everyone staring and trying to win you over for their own gains?”

 

Hux shrugged. “I can’t stop them.”

 

He finished up with his own locker and then closed it, motioning for Ben to follow him towards their class. “That doesn’t answer my question,” Ben pointed out. When Hux didn’t answer, Ben continued. “There’s more to life than pleasing others, you know.”

 

“Can we talk about this later?” Hux said under his breath, though his tone implied that it was an order rather than a request. He could already feel a headache coming on. Ben huffed out a breath but didn’t push the subject and Hux was grateful for that, if nothing else, as they walked into their first classroom and picked their seats.

 

#

 

The first day of school dragged on as it always did. Hux had hoped that his teachers for his senior year at the Academy would start their lessons right away and act a bit more professional but, as always, the first of each class was dedicated to reviewing the syllabus and discussing what they _would_ be learning. What a waste of time. At least the afternoon was more productive. They were informed that the first week would be used to test each student on their current abilities – both fitness and fighting wise – so that baselines could be obtained and individualized learning plans could be created.

 

Hux was already out in the field which looked out at each fitness building the Academy owned. There was an outdoor track for running and then separate buildings for the shooting range, melee training hall, indoor obstacle course, and gym with weights and another indoor track for when the weather didn’t cooperate. Hux was completing his stretches along with the other students when he looked up and saw Ben walking out to join them.

 

While Hux’s school uniform hadn’t fit Ben, his spare gym attire suited. The pairs of shorts and track pants were made to be loose, and Hux had a few t-shirts that were too large for him but fit Ben’s width comfortably. His parents had ordered them with their hope that Hux would fill out with age, and then the shirts had been stored away when that ended up not happening. Right now with the remaining warmth of summer Ben was wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and the running shoes they had bought for him in town and he looked, well… _good_.

 

Hux found himself caught up in a wave of envy. Ben’s physique was attractive and everything Hux wanted and knew he couldn’t have. He could imagine it would be slightly easier to order subordinates around when you had the body of a demigod, rather than looking like a slim toothpick the way Hux did. Not that Hux would let that hinder his ambitions; he had a brain that could outmatch most and he was strong despite being slight. But still, Hux couldn’t stop his gaze from lingering for a moment until Ben joined him and started mimicking the stretches Hux had forgotten he was supposed to be doing.

 

Once they were warmed up the teacher told them to start doing laps on the track. It wasn’t a race, but they were told that stamina, distance and speed would all be considered. Hux started near the back of the pack with Ben at his side. He started at a leisurely pace, knowing many of his classmates were excellent sprinters but would fall away after a lap or two. Not that Hux was concerned; long distance running was one of the ways he filled his free time.

 

For the first lap Ben matched his pace, and then he glanced over at Hux. “What kind of pace is this?”

 

Hux kept his expression neutral. “Go whatever pace you want.”

 

“I’d feel bad leaving you in my dust,” Ben said, smirk smug.

 

Now Hux frowned. “This isn’t my fastest pace.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Ben edged a little closer. They were almost brushing elbows with each step. “Prove it.”

 

Before Hux could say anything in return, Ben started to speed up. He hadn’t gone from a crawl to a sprint but he was putting noticeable distance between them with each passing second. For a moment Hux reminded himself that it wasn’t a race, and that he could still probably outlast Ben. Regardless, Hux hitched up his pace to return to Ben’s side, and then sped up a bit more, noting that Ben jogged a little faster to match him in return.

 

Before long they were running around the track side by side, as fast as Hux dared go if he wanted to prove he had stamina and wouldn’t just burn out. Ben hadn’t pushed him faster than this pace, likely thinking the same way. They were both breathing hard and Hux could feel the sweat on his skin loosening the gel that used to hold his hair away from his face. The rest of the class had given up and were sitting on the grass around the feet of the teacher, who held a stopwatch and continued to track their progress with critical eyes. Hux barely spared them more than a glance, focused on his feet pounding the ground.

 

“Gonna give up?” Ben panted on their next lap.

 

Hux kept looking straight ahead. “You wish.”

 

They completed another three laps, though Hux had lost count of how many they had done in total. On the far side of the track away from the teacher and class, Hux felt himself begin to wane. In the second his brain zoned out Hux felt his legs give out and the sickening flip of his stomach as he started to fall. He never hit the ground though. He and Ben had been running close enough that in a flash Ben reached out and caught Hux under his elbow, holding him aloft.

 

Hux didn’t shake Ben off even when he steadied himself, aware of how badly his legs were trembling. “H-how?” he struggled for air. No one had reflexes fast enough to catch Hux the way Ben just had.

 

“The Force comes in handy sometimes,” Ben said in response, which didn’t really explain anything for Hux, who was less than an expert on the subject. Still, he didn’t have the breath to push the topic and it seemed like Ben was the same. They were both shaking badly, gasping in air as their pulse flew. “Kriff, that was intense.”

 

Hux merely nodded his agreement and then tentatively straightened his posture. He had never met anyone before who could match him in this and Hux wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Right now all he could focus on was trying to refill his lungs and slow the race of his heart. “We should get back.”

 

“Do you want me to carry you?” Ben offered. Perhaps he was trying to poke fun at Hux but Ben was too out of breath to sound anything other than genuine.

 

That didn’t mean Hux would agree. “I’d skin you alive if you tried.”

 

“Right.” Ben glanced in the direction of their audience, who could see them regardless of the distance. “Image.”

 

The walk back around the track was slow and laborious. Hux’s legs felt like jelly and he was still trembling. He could tell Ben was too even though Ben had let go of Hux’s arm. Repeatedly Hux tried pushing his hair from his face and then gave up by the time they made it back to the rest of the class; there was nothing he could do about his unruly hair until he got hold of more gel.

 

“Impressive, both of you,” the teacher praised them when they were within earshot. “Though I still expect you both to participate in the rest of this afternoon’s activities.” Hux wouldn’t argue even though he wanted nothing more than to lie in the grass and nap. He saw Ben grimacing but no complaint came from him either. Their only saving grace was that the teacher put them at the back of the line to use the weight machines, giving them both a chance to recover.

 

The rest of the afternoon passed without incident and at last the final bell rang. Hux and Ben grabbed their possessions from their lockers and headed to the parking lot where they would get a ride home in the back of Brendol’s car. As soon as they were on the road Hux could tell his father had been informed about the running; the air felt thick and tense. There was no way for Ben to know what was going on, but he seemed uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat.

 

“I heard Ben beat you at running today,” Brendol said after a few minutes of driving in silence.

 

“We tied, technically,” Hux defended. He looked up at the rear-view mirror and then glanced away when he saw the unimpressed look in his father’s eyes.

 

Brendol wouldn’t let it go. “That’s not what I heard.”

 

Ben spoke up before Hux could. “I’m pretty sure I was one second away from having a heart attack or at least falling and breaking something. It’s a good thing we stopped when we did.”

 

“Hm,” was all Brendol said in return. Hux knew it was a sound his father made to make Ben think the topic was dropped. However, Hux knew what Brendol was really thinking: one second or one hour was no difference; losing was losing.

 

The interior of the car remained tense until they got home. Even though Hux’s legs were still trembling with exhaustion he made sure to walk with an even gait until he was in his room and out of his father’s sight. Ben had followed behind him and shut the door. Hux wanted to be alone, but he wanted answers more. “So what exactly happened this afternoon?” he asked as he collapsed onto the couch.

 

Ben set his bag down and stood by the edge of the couch, looking uncomfortable. As though he worried someone was outside eavesdropping, Ben spoke in a hushed voice. “I have a constant awareness of the Force which heightens when I focus. It helps me be aware of the people and energy around me in general, and if I focus intensely enough I can read thoughts.”

 

“You were reading my thoughts?” Hux questioned tightly, feeling defensive and on edge at the idea.

 

“No you’d be able to feel me if I tried,” Ben reassured him. At last Ben hesitantly sat on the couch beside him and they looked one another over. “I _was_ focused on you though, so I noticed the hitch in your energy as your legs gave out and you started to fall and I reacted. I didn’t mean to cause you problems,” Ben added, no doubt remembering the car ride home.

 

Hux sighed and waved him off. “It’s nothing new. And at least you kept me from breaking something.” They had no homework tonight and Hux was grateful; he questioned his ability to simply stay awake long enough to eat dinner before falling into bed. They remained seated on the couch as Hux mulled over what Ben had told him. As was becoming increasingly common, Hux’s curiosity began to mount. “So what am I thinking about right now?” Ben sent him a questioning look. “I want to know what it feels like when you try to read my mind.”

 

“I’m probably too tired to manage it,” Ben admitted, weathering his bottom lip. “Although you being receptive to it would make it easier.”

 

“So stop coming up with excuses and get on with it,” Hux prodded.

 

Ben closed his eyes, his face going slack. Hux watched him, studying his facial features as Ben concentrated. After a moment he felt a slight pressure against his temples. It wasn’t uncomfortable in any way; merely warm and steady as if Ben was gently pressing a hand against the front part of his head. “You’re studying my face,” Ben stated quietly.

 

Hux closed his eyes, realizing that maybe he shouldn’t be staring. “And now?”

 

Ben hummed and the pressure continued. Somehow Hux felt that he could _tell_ it was Ben’s presence brushing against his own awareness, which made him slightly less nervous about the whole situation. “You’re thinking about what it feels like having me read your mind… Now you’re thinking about when we were at our lockers this morning… Now what it felt like just before you tripped – me catching you – me walking towards you at the start of class – you blocked me out.”

 

Hux most certainly had, and he hoped desperately that he wasn't blushing. There was no way he needed Ben knowing the way Hux had looked him over when Hux first saw him in his gym outfit, or how attractive Hux had found him. Hux opened his eyes and found Ben already staring at him, frowning at being locked out of Hux’s mind; at least, that’s how Hux had visualized it to stop Ben’s easy access to his thoughts.

 

“So you can see the images or hear the thoughts as they go through my mind,” Hux surmised. “Almost like images on a holo video?”

 

“Yes; and the longer you stay on one thought the more detail I can gather from it,” Ben explained, still frowning. “You think very quickly though.”

 

“Are you saying you think slowly?” Hux teased in an attempt to further distract Ben from the last memory he had seen from Hux.

 

Ben offered an amused smile. “I don’t think I jump through thoughts that quickly. Though you did remind me of our conversation this morning. You never answered my question.”

 

Hux didn’t need to ask which question Ben meant. “Yes, it bothers me that they act fake towards me. It’s why I never bother trying to make friends; I don’t trust their intentions,” Hux admitted. “But I don’t put up with it to please everyone, like you suggested. Sometimes it’s just easier to let it go and not be actively antagonistic.”

 

“Are you calling me antagonistic?” Ben raised an eyebrow.

 

Hux considered him. “I’m saying it’s important to pick your battles.”

 

"I suppose that's a lesson I need to learn." Ben sat back on the couch and ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe then people wouldn't be so eager to get rid of me."

 

"I think with you here this semester will be interesting," Hux offered tentatively. He pushed away the mental image of Ben walking towards him in his gym outfit as it started to resurface.

 

Ben sent him a skeptical look. "'Interesting' isn't always 'good.'"

 

Hux pursed his lips. "In this case I think it will be."

 

When Ben smiled with shy gratitude, Hux was glad that he had managed to say the right thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Weeks passed and they settled into a routine. They attended their classes together throughout the day, kept one another company during their lunch period, and worked on their homework together in the evenings. Sometimes Hux told Ben that he wanted some time alone to read and relax, still adjusting to having someone around all the time, and Ben accepted this with a relaxed shrug and usually excused himself to the gym.

 

However, even though Hux wasn’t used to being around someone so frequently, he found that he didn’t mind it as much as he expected to. Especially at the Academy. Hux had just accepted the fact that he wouldn’t make friends at school; most people weren’t interested and the ones who said they were interested in getting to know Hux, he couldn’t trust to be more interested in him than his family name.

 

Hux had spent most of his lunches in the school library with a good book or working on his assignments. Now instead he and Ben had appropriated one of the tables in the corner of the cafeteria for their use when they ate their lunch, and then Ben would be dragging Hux outside while the good weather clung on. They ran often and though it was without the same intensity as they had during the first gym class, it was still enjoyable and had Hux feel like his feet were flying.

 

He had noticed but said nothing about the fact that Ben’s dedication to exercising both at school and at home was showing near-immediate results. Ben’s chest and shoulders had always been broad but now his pectorals and arms were filling out with defined muscles, making Ben’s shirts cling to him in a way that Hux didn’t think was entirely fair. Hux had been working out more frequently than his norm and while he could feel himself growing stronger, he knew his muscles would never be as pronounced as Ben’s were.

 

“Predisposed to it, I guess.” Ben had shrugged with a laugh one day when Hux felt bold enough to grouse about the whole thing.

 

Hux had pursed his lips and said nothing else about it, forcing his eyes away before they lingered inappropriately. He was so relieved he had gotten Ben to show him what it felt like to have his mind read so that Hux could be certain Ben wasn’t privy to the increasingly common thoughts Hux had about Ben’s body. It didn’t help that as time progressed, Hux started to feel that Ben was becoming a true friend rather than just a convenient piece of eye candy.

 

Ben was sharply intelligent and surprisingly funny when Hux was in the mood for it, and sometimes Ben managed to steal a chuckle from him even when Hux wasn’t in the mood. Hux had been worried that he would be forced to babysit a lazy idiot throughout the semester but Ben was proving himself to be a worthy companion. While Ben’s interest in Political History waned almost instantly, he threw himself into their other classes eagerly. Before long Ben and Hux were discussing weapon designs for their first project back and forth on the floor of Hux’s bedroom well into the evening once Hux was done hammering facts into Ben’s head for their History test the next day.

 

Hux told himself it wasn’t worth pursuing the desires he felt mounting for Ben. Besides the fact that Brendol would probably disown him for pursing another man, Ben would only be staying for a limited period of time and then he would disappear from Hux’s life. Ben would return home and Hux would graduate, being sent off to his first military post to start his career. He didn’t want to get attached to something he knew was going to vanish.

 

And when even these thoughts weren’t enough to stop Hux from watching Ben when his back was turned, or suppress the daydreams, Hux told himself he wouldn’t make a move unless he knew for certain that Ben was interested too. Yes, Hux had caught Ben’s eyes on him before, but Hux wasn’t going to make assumptions and cause awkwardness or worse, make Ben demand to leave early. Hux had no idea how he’d explain that to his parents.

 

So, he did nothing and ignored the tension he wasn’t sure Ben shared and things continued into the semester without incident.

 

At least, they made it without incident until midterm exams.

 

Hux’s first mistake was falling asleep one night in Ben’s room, both of them leaning against one another on the couch. They had been up late studying for their Political History exam the next day; or more accurately, Hux was doing his best to cram whatever facts would stick into Ben’s head to make sure he didn’t fail the test. The hours had slipped by and Hux’s eyelids grew heavy, both of them trying to blink through their exhaustion.

 

Hux didn’t know when he had fallen sleep but he woke up curled up on the couch, his weight leaning against Ben who in turn was leaning against him. Hux’s body had slumped in sleep and his head was half-against Ben’s chest, listening to his strong and steady heartbeat. It took a few minutes for Hux to fully understand where he was or what had happened, and then he checked his watch and realized if they didn’t move _fast_ they would be late. He had shaken Ben awake and then run to his own room to change and get ready, both of them too harried to dwell on or discuss their accidental cuddle on the couch.

 

In fact, Hux didn’t think about it again until they were in the car home at the end of the day, relaxing slightly now that more of his exams had been completed successfully. By then it would be too awkward and obvious to bring it up again, especially since Ben didn’t seem to have any intention of doing so. Hux told himself again to keep control and locked the memory away. Hux figured he had avoided any potential problems by letting their shared sleep on the couch fall into the past, but he was wrong. Because the next slip-up was Ben’s, and it ended up breaking any resolve Hux had left to stop himself from pursuing something with Ben.

 

A week after they had accidentally slept together on the couch, they were participating in their final midterm examinations for the physical courses that filled their afternoons. Their scores were calculated with the average from multiple attempts at each activity, and Hux’s final opponent for his hand-to-hand fighting component ended up being Ben. Though their heights were similar, Ben’s breadth and muscles made the match visually unfair. Hux wouldn’t complain though; he had to know how to fight any opponent and stay alive when it came to his future career.

 

Hux and Ben squared off in one of the two fighting rings and started as soon as the teacher blew the whistle. Between their afternoon training sessions at school and they’re extracurricular practice at home in Hux’s household gym, they were at least somewhat familiar with the other’s style and tactics. Immediately they started circling one another in the ring, matching pace as they eyed one another.

 

“I won’t go easy on you,” Hux warned, giving Ben a confident smirk.

 

Ben returned it easily, having already tied his hair back and out of his face with just his typical braid falling by one of his ears. “I’d be disappointed if you did.”

 

They circled for another minute and then Ben lunged first. Hux dodged quickly and swept a foot at Ben’s ankle, sending him stumbling but not falling before he regained his balance. Hux avoided each of Ben’s attempts to use strength, knowing that he would eventually fail against Ben’s larger bulk. He did his best to use speed to his advantage, grappling with Ben only until he could break away and put distance between them again.

 

Hux realized they were more evenly matched than he had initially calculated, and he knew that one of them would try to end it soon since part of their mark relied on how quickly they bested their opponent. Wanting to strike before Ben expected it, Hux feigned a lunge in one direction and then spun the opposite way, taking Ben’s feet out from under him and sending Ben tumbling to the ground. Unfortunately Ben threw a hand out and grabbed Hux’s ankle before he could get away and Hux hit the ground just as hard.

 

They were in Ben’s territory now and before long Ben’s weight was atop Hux, stopping him from standing or rolling away. Hux kept blocking Ben’s attempts to grab and pin his arms, which would force him into surrendering. Hux forgot about the teacher and the students and where they were; his senses focused only on the heat and weight of Ben’s body and the harsh sound of their breathing in the air.

 

Hux was grateful for the bagginess of his pants when he felt his cock swelling to half-mast with the scuffle. He knew Ben would likely feel it but was determined to win so Hux bucked his hips up in an attempt to knock Ben off him. The sharp intake of air that escaped Ben was telling and Hux took advantage of it to flip their positions and pin Ben’s wrists above his head. Hux was straddling Ben’s waist, using his full weight to keep him down, which was to Ben’s benefit because Hux’s body effectively covered up Ben’s erection from the view of the rest of the class.

 

Ben was done fighting. His eyes were wide, whether with surprise or embarrassment Hux didn’t know, and his face was flushed. “I surrender,” Ben called out loudly enough for the teacher to hear, and then shoved Hux off hard. Hux fell over and by the time he managed to pull himself up from the ground, Ben had fled the gym entirely.

 

A few of the other students looked between the door and Hux but most were busy preparing for their own upcoming matches. Hux pulled himself off the floor and walked to the teacher quickly, speaking quietly and praying that it wasn’t visibly obvious he was still half-hard. “Can I go make sure he’s okay?”

 

The teacher barely looked up from his clipboard. “Yeah, you’re both done for the day anyway. Just make sure you’re back in time to get dismissed with the class.”

 

Hux knew this was so the teacher could confirm he and Ben hadn’t snuck off school grounds early. He nodded and said “thank you” and rushed for the door.

 

Hux wasn’t sure where to look first but judging by the erection Hux had felt against his body, Ben had likely sought the first refresher he could find. The nearest one was en route to their lockers, meaning Hux was relatively confident Ben would know where it was. Hux headed to the refresher and when he pushed the door open he saw that one of the four toilet stalls which was closest to the far wall was closed. “Ben?” he asked tentatively, not wanting to awkwardly call out to a stranger.

 

There was a shuffling of feet and then a familiar voice. “Go away.”

 

Hux rolled his eyes and locked the main door before walking down the small aisle of urinals and stalls. When he reached the last stall he attempted to nudge it open and found the door locked as well. “Ben, let me in.” There was no answer and Hux crossed his arms. He could leave right now, not acknowledge what had happened in the gym, and they could continue on as they had been doing. But Hux admitted to himself that that wasn’t what he wanted, so he knocked politely. “It’s not that big of a deal,” he murmured quietly.

 

Ben yanked the stall door open after a moment, frowning at him. “Maybe for you it’s not.”

 

Hux stepped forward and Ben immediately backpedalled until his back was against the wall, looking like a cornered animal fearful of an approaching predator. Once Hux was in the stall he locked the door behind him and faced Ben fully. He raised an eyebrow. “Is it a big deal for you?”

 

Ben licked his lips and looked away, a pained expression on his face. A quick glance downward confirmed for Hux that Ben was still hard in his pants. “It was…forbidden.”

 

“Forbidden?” Hux repeated with confusion, frown deepening.

 

Ben still wouldn’t meet his gaze and he was blushing anew. “It’s part of the Jedi code to be celibate. Jedi – and those training to become Jedi – are forbidden from forming attachments and bonds. Having stronger emotions for one person would mean the Jedi did not value all life equally. And…” Ben sent Hux a fleeting look through his lashes. “Passion disrupts serenity and leads to chaos. It was too close to what drives the Dark side for the comfort of those who taught me.”

 

Hux remembered Ben telling him about how his family was scared of him; what Ben was capable of and the potential draws to the Dark side Ben had to deal with. He remembered how painful and conflicting it clearly was for Ben to force himself into a mould that didn’t fit quite right and still not be accepted. That same internalized uncertainty was on Ben’s face now as he remained braced against the wall, shoulders slumped.

 

Hux wanted to take Ben’s pain away and bring him back to the stable, self-assured man he had started to become the longer he was on Arkanis. And admittedly Hux’s baser instincts were singing at the idea that he could be Ben’s first. Ben would trust him and surrender to it and Hux would corrupt him one touch at a time. It wasn’t about good or evil – there were no ideals in a world like that. What mattered was not denying one’s nature, and living life to the fullest.

 

“So you’ve never done… _anything_ before?” Hux asked in a tentative murmur, not wanting to scare Ben off. He shuffled a few inches closer and looked up at Ben through his lashes, allowing his own desire to show openly on his face.

 

Their eyes locked and Ben swallowed hard. “No. But I’ve been… tempted,” Ben confessed and his eyes raked down Hux’s body with enough heat to make Hux shudder with want. “But—we shouldn’t—!” Ben’s voice raised an octave with nerves when Hux stepped close enough for their bodies to press together.

 

“Shh, be quiet,” Hux hushed Ben softly, trying to sound as soothing as he could manage while Hux carefully slotted his thigh between Ben’s legs. If Ben asked him to stop or pushed him away, Hux wouldn’t force himself upon Ben. But that didn’t mean Hux was willing to back off just because Ben’s family had forced unreasonable rules and expectations into his head that Ben was now questioning.

 

One of Hux’s hands rested on Ben’s shoulder but Hux kept his other hand in his pocket, not wanting Ben to feel boxed in and cornered. With no further protests from Ben, Hux angled his thigh up and along Ben’s erection. The sight of Ben’s legs bowing outward to accommodate Hux was trumped only by the feeling of Ben shuddering against him at the sensation of intentional heat and pressure against his cock. A quiet “ _ah!_ ” escaped Ben before his hands flew to Hux’s shoulders, clutching at Hux like he was teetering on the edge of oblivion.

Hux paused like that, giving Ben a chance to decide he didn’t want this before they went any further. But instead of pushing Hux away, Ben slid his hands down and dug his fingers into Hux’s upper back, holding their bodies closer together as Ben’s chin came to rest on one of Hux’s shoulders. “Push harder, _please_.” Immediately Hux did as requested and pressed his thigh tighter against the bulge in Ben’s pants, rubbing it rhythmically in a way he hoped felt good. He knew he had succeeded when Ben clenched his eyes closed and hid his face against Hux’s shoulder, unable to silence his little gasp. “A- _ah!_ _Hux!_ ”

The sound of Ben gasping Hux’s name in his ear turned Hux on more than he had expected it to. Hux was just beginning to comprehend the fact that besides his own arousal, he wanted this to be good for Ben simply because he wanted Ben to enjoy it. With this in mind Hux moved his hand from his pocket to Ben’s hip, tugging him forward to demonstrate how Ben should move against his offered thigh. Ben’s movements were awkward and jerky but he leaned into Hux’s touch and within a minute he was rutting eagerly against Hux’s thigh which Hux continued to thrust against him in return.

 

Ben was panting quietly with exertion though it sounded loud next to Hux’s ear and as it echoed off the room’s tiles. Hux could feel his own cock leaking in his underwear with desire even though he wasn’t straddling Ben’s thigh the right away to get proper friction in return. He didn’t care, more focused on pushing Ben closer to the edge. It was obvious that Ben wouldn’t last long since he was getting louder and squirming desperately now between the wall and Hux’s body.

 

Hux kept up the pressure and friction caused by his thigh and leaned in to whisper in Ben’s ear, “Do you like it?”

 

In response Ben whimpered and came in his pants, Ben’s body wracked with spasms. Hux tightened his grip on Ben’s shoulder and hip, holding him close. Even after Ben had finished he continued to tremble. Hux was just beginning to worry that he had pushed too far but then Ben tucked his face against Hux’s neck. Hux could feel a gust of air when Ben exhaled and then the distinct shape of a smile curling Ben’s lips against Hux’s skin. “Wow.”

 

Hux smiled privately to himself and didn’t move. He was still hard and aching in his pants but it didn’t feel right to demand reciprocation from Ben who was both inexperienced and still recovering. Hux would need to move away from Ben’s body soon so that his erection could wane and not raise suspicion when they went back to class, but Hux felt unwilling to do so. He only leaned back when Ben lifted his head to look at him and ask, “What about you?”

 

Ben’s cheeks were still a little pink and his eyelashes were clumped together, betraying the fact that at least a few tears must’ve escaped Ben in his moment of ecstasy. It took Hux a second to register the question and come up with a response. “Don’t worry about it. We have to get back to class soon anyway.”

 

Hux started to pull away but Ben grabbed Hux’s wrist and kept his hand against Ben’s hip. “Please Hux,” Ben pleaded shyly. “I want to watch you.”

 

Hux was too aroused to really argue the issue so he didn’t bother trying. “Alright,” he relented, “but I’m going to use my hand.” If they had more time Hux would’ve enjoyed getting off against Ben’s muscular leg but they were on a time limit and Hux knew he could get off quickly with the grip of his fingers. Hux moved both hands to the front of his pants, undoing the button and zipper as quickly as his shaking hands could manage.

 

When he fished his cock out of his pants with one hand, Hux returned his other hand to Ben’s shoulder. Ben was looking down at Hux’s hand around his cock with wide eyes but at the same time he placed both hands on Hux’s hips and squeezed. The touch spurred Hux on who started to stroke himself tightly, already worked up from watching Ben climax. It was a little nerve-wracking having Ben’s intent gaze on his movements, Hux hyper-aware about every movement and noise he was making, but it also made him more reactive to each shock of pleasure traveling up his spine.

 

Ben’s hands had moved from Hux’s hips to cup the swell of his ass and start massaging there. The sensation had Hux’s cock twitching in his hand and precome spilling across his fingers. Hux sped up his strokes as his breathing turned harsher until at last Hux choked off a groan and came into his palm. Hux worked himself through it and then slumped against Ben’s body, grateful for Ben’s embrace to keep Hux’s legs from giving out as he recovered.

 

It was the best orgasm of Hux’s life and when he glanced up he saw that Ben’s eyes were dark with ongoing desire. They didn’t have the time to talk about it or pursue the encounter further though; there was still twenty minutes before class ended but they didn’t want to raise suspicions. “We have to go,” Hux said, clearing his throat when he realized how rough his voice sounded. “And we have to clean up.”

 

Ben nodded but said nothing and together they stepped out of the stall. Hux washed his hands clean and then did his best to smooth out the wrinkles in his uniform that Ben’s fingers had put there. Ben did the same and excused himself back to a stall momentarily to wipe the wetness from his underwear. Ben was blushing when he stepped back out to the sinks to wash up but Hux had no time to tease or inquire further. As soon as they looked presentable they unlocked the refresher door and headed down the hall to the gym, sitting quietly on the bleachers to watch more student matches and avoid drawing unwanted attention.

 

For the rest of the evening it felt like Ben was both too close and not close enough. When they sat on the bleachers Hux could only focus on the inches of space between their thighs and the heat he could feel radiating off Ben. In the car on the drive home Hux found himself calculating how easy it would be to reach his hand over and brush Ben’s arm. And at the dinner table while Hux’s parents asked them how their exams had gone, Hux struggled not to resent the fact that Ben was sitting on the opposite side of the table from him, well out of reach.

 

This was not something Hux had anticipated. While he had limited experience himself, Hux had never before become so aware and focused on the proximity of a past lover. Now it felt like an invisible string was binding them together, pulling taut the further apart Hux and Ben got. It seemed to reel Hux in, making him want to remove the distance between them. Hux wanted to feel Ben’s body against his own again, and make him shudder and moan, but he also didn’t want to overwhelm Ben after his first time. And besides that, Hux decided a bit of distance would be good for his own sanity and to get these weird thoughts under control.

 

After dinner they lingered by Ben’s bedroom door but then Hux excused himself for the night and Ben didn’t protest or ask questions. It was too early to sleep immediately so Hux did his best to distract himself with a novel and then games until reasonably he could crawl into bed. Even with the lights off and lying under the covers Hux felt wide awake, his thoughts repeatedly flickering back to that afternoon in the refresher.

 

Hux didn’t notice when he began to drift off but when he startled awake and looked at the clock, he realized he must not have been asleep for long. Hux peered through the darkness and strained his hearing, trying to determine what had woken him up. There was no noise in the quiet, sleeping house, but Hux felt a sudden, insistent urge to go to Ben as though the other boy had yelled for him through the walls.

 

Hux threw his covers aside and rushed to Ben’s room, following instinct rather than logic. In Ben’s room Hux saw Ben still in bed but tangled up in the sheets. Ben was fidgeting in his sleep and whimpering as though he was scared or in pain. When Hux stepped closer he saw that Ben’s face was marred with deep frown lines as Ben reacted to whatever nightmare he was having.

 

Not sure what to do but feeling worried and protective over his friend, Hux climbed onto the bed and gently shook Ben’s shoulder. Ben whimpered again as his body twitched but otherwise he remained unresponsive and unconscious. Hux shook Ben harder and whispered his name, “Ben!”

 

Ben’s eyes flashed open and he gasped like a man hitting air after being submerged in water for far too long. Before Hux could ask what Ben had been dreaming about or how to help, Ben smacked away Hux’s hand where it had remained curled around Ben’s shoulder. “Get away from me,” Ben hissed, eyes wide and wild.

 

“I-I’m not going to hurt you,” Hux insisted, stuttering through his surprise. “Do you know where you are?” he asked, wondering if Ben was still caught up in his nightmare.

 

Ben’s eyes narrowed at him in the darkness. “I’m not an idiot.”

 

Hux’s eyes narrowed in return. “You’re acting like one right now.”

 

“Great, someone else I disappointed,” Ben shuffled further away from where Hux was still kneeling on the bed. “Just fuck off and leave me alone. I don’t want you here.”

 

The words stung like a slap across his face, especially since a mere hour earlier Hux had been lying in bed remembering his tryst with Ben and wondering how Ben would react if Hux kissed him. Forget that! “Fine, enjoy your nightmares alone,” Hux snapped and got off the bed. Ben didn’t change his mind or say anything further so Hux didn’t hesitate before leaving. He was tempted to slam the door just to show how unimpressed he was but Hux was unwilling to risk waking his parents.

 

It was still a significant risk that Ben would go to Hux’s parents and get him in trouble. It would be the fastest way for Ben to get himself sent home if that’s what he decided he wanted to do more than stay here. What would Hux do if Ben told his parents that Hux sexually harassed him? Just the thought of Ben using those accusations about what they had done in the refresher left a bitter taste on Hux’s tongue.

 

He thought Ben had enjoyed it. Had Hux been wrong? Ben had seemed quiet after their encounter but Hux figured that was because he was feeling shy and still questioning doing something that he had been told was forbidden. Hux could hope that tomorrow they would wake up and things would go back to normal, that Ben’s outburst had been an after-effect of the nightmare. But Hux was too scared to hope; his chest already ached with the rejection Ben had handed him. Hux curled up in bed and stared at the ceiling, accepting that he probably wouldn’t get much sleep the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As I mentioned with my intro notes, this whole story sprung from the inspiration I got when seeing [curlygingerbird's](http://curlygingerbird.tumblr.com/) artwork, which is embedded in the story. It started with me just wanting to write the scene and then my fingers slipped haha. The original art is [here on curlygingerbird's blog](http://curlygingerbird.tumblr.com/post/151220903812/i-usually-only-post-these-on-twitter-but-here). I want to say another big thank you to curlygingerbird for allowing me to link and embed the amazing artwork and you should all go check out their blog for more awesome stuff! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Guess who forgot yesterday was Thursday and time to post another chapter! *facepalm* Sorry about that, everyone. But I hope you enjoy the new chapter over the weekend ^.^

The next morning showed no improvement, nor the day after that. In fact, for two straight weeks it felt to Hux like he was walking on egg shells around Ben. They still ate breakfast and rode in the car together to school, attended classes and went home together. There was no way for them to avoid each other since they shared all the same classes, sat by each other, and even their lockers were together. Yet the air was tense and silent between them, filled only with obligatory words to avoid raising suspicion from those around them.

 

Every lunch period Ben said he wanted to be alone and disappeared until their first class after lunch. Hux let him go, unwilling to sit in uncomfortable silence for the whole lunch period. Similarly, in the evenings after dinner Ben would retreat to his own room and Hux would do the same, both of them working on homework or leisure activities alone. One evening Hux’s mother cornered him and asked if everything was alright, having noticed that he and Ben were spending less time together. Hux had awkwardly lied, saying that they were just focused on their studies and wanting some private time. Evangeline had accepted his words but given Hux a concerned look before letting him go.

 

The conversation with his mother had been a relief only in the sense that it confirmed to Hux that Ben hadn’t made any accusations to Hux’s parents or asked them if he could leave. Which Hux didn’t get because clearly Ben wasn’t happy here anymore, though maybe it was still an improvement from what he had left behind on his home planet. Hux couldn’t imagine though that Ben would ask to stay another semester, which meant that his time on Arkanis was rushing to its end. With midterm exams finished it was just under two months until final exams for the first semester, and then the holiday school break.

 

Hux was frustrated with himself more than Ben. He had told himself not to hope or give in to his budding infatuation with Ben. Hux _knew_ it couldn’t last long, if anything happened at all. And now they wouldn’t even be able to enjoy their last two months together before Ben disappeared from his life. Hux had gotten used to being alone as an only child and without close friends at school, and he had been _fine_. Now he found himself missing Ben’s friendly companionship; doing homework, gaming, and spending time together in their private gym. Beyond that, Ben’s rejection hadn’t been enough to bury Hux’s ongoing attraction for the younger man, and Hux struggled against the urge to draw up the memory of their time in the refresher for masturbatory material.

 

In the end, even if they never did anything else sexual, Hux wished he had his friend back. Instead Ben seemed to deteriorate and withdraw in on himself more with each passing day. Hux knew the darkening bruises under Ben’s eyes were from constant nightmares because they woke Hux too, the way they had the first night. Hux didn’t go to Ben’s room again even though lying there and doing nothing felt like ignoring an important instinct, but he didn’t want to be rejected and shoved away again. So he watched Ben suffer in silence, growing more tired and quiet as time passed.

 

Two weeks after Ben’s first nightmare and the subsequent rejection, Hux’s eyes flashed open in the middle of the night. He felt the insistent tug in his chest that he couldn’t explain but somehow _knew_ implied that Ben was caught in another nightmare. Hux sighed and rolled onto his side, trying to ignore the urge to go comfort Ben until the nightmare ceased. The sleep disturbances had been frequent enough that even Hux was suffering, and some nights the exhaustion was so bad he managed to fall back to sleep even while the tug continued.

 

Tonight wasn’t one of those nights. In fact, the urge to check on Ben got worse. Within a minute of becoming conscious Hux’s mind was screaming at him, fearing a danger to Ben that made no sense but couldn’t be ignored. Eventually Hux gave in and got out of bed, telling himself that even if Ben sent him away again, at least he’d be awake and not caught in a nightmare so Hux could finally get some sleep.

 

The house was quiet as it always was at this time of night, but as soon as Hux was in Ben’s room he heard the harsh breathing of the other man as he restlessly fidgeted in the sheets. Hux walked up to the edge of the bed, not climbing on this time, and shook Ben’s shoulder hard. Ben jolted awake immediately, eyes glassy-looking from the tears welling up and spilling down his cheeks. Hux was about to turn and leave before Ben could send him away, but then Ben reached out to grab his hand and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

 

Hux hesitated. He was still mad, and hurt. But Hux was beginning to realize that there was more going on and that Ben’s rejection may not have happened just because Ben decided he hated Hux. Ben was still crying and after a moment Hux moved to sit on the edge of the bed, not pulling his hand away from Ben’s grasp. “What’s going on?”

 

Ben turned away and used his free hand to wipe at his wet cheeks. It was too dark in the room to tell if Ben was blushing but he was radiating a sense of embarrassment. Hux squeezed Ben’s hand lightly and tried to be patient until Ben answered. “There’s this voice that I hear…” Ben said at last, his eyes glancing back at Hux nervously.

 

Hux tried to keep his expression neutral but he couldn’t stop an eyebrow from rising slightly. “What sort of voice?”

 

Ben shoved himself into a seated position against the pillows. Hux remained where he was, their fingers laced and resting on the mattress between them. “He calls himself Snoke. He would whisper in my mind back home too but it’s become more frequent.”

 

“And it’s…” Hux tried to think of a delicate way to say it, “another person?”

 

“Yes,” Ben nodded firmly. “I can trace the presence through the Force back to another individual so I know it’s not just my mind playing tricks.” Ben seemed ruffled by Hux’s careful implication that the voice may not be real, but he continued his explanation. “He told me I didn’t fit in with my family because I was meant to be a warrior of the Dark, and that my family would never trust or accept me. He was right, but I still felt lost and alone.”

 

“And now you said you hear him more frequently?” Hux pressed, trying to understand and wrap his head around the idea of this invisible presence. Hux felt a rush of protectiveness for Ben, and noted that the sense of danger that drew him here in the first place seemed to be dissipating the longer his hand remained clasped with Ben’s.

 

“Yes, almost every night now.” Ben gave a tired sigh. “Snoke keeps telling me that I shouldn’t want… certain things.” Hux watched Ben use his free hand to rub the back of his neck. “That I’m supposed to be alone because it will make me stronger and because I’d hurt anyone I got close to. He tells me that it doesn’t matter if I want you because you…” Ben trailed off mid-sentence, looking torn.

 

Ben’s grasp on Hux’s hand had slackened. Hux tightened his hold, drawing Ben’s attention back to him and away from whatever thoughts plagued his mind. “Because I what?”

 

It sounded like Ben was being strangled as he forced out the words. “You don’t really care about me and just want to use me for sex.”

 

Ben looked at him with questioning, pleading eyes, and he shrunk back when Hux’s eyes narrowed. “That is complete bullshit!” he hissed angrily.

 

“Is it?” Ben asked, eyes widening slightly with what looked like hope.

 

“I…” Hux began and then hesitated. He didn’t want Ben to be upset but Hux didn’t want to lie to him either. Hux really thought about it for a minute and the answer quickly became obvious. “Yes, of course it is!” Hux insisted. Because even though Hux really wanted to explore a relationship beyond what they did in the school refresher, if Ben said he wasn’t interested Hux would back off. More than anything Hux just wanted his friend back. “Of course I care about you; that’s why I missed you.”

 

Ben ducked his head and took a deep, steadying breath. “You missed me?”

 

“I thought you said you weren’t an idiot.” Hux huffed, his words half-teasing and half-serious. Of course, if Hux had someone whispering these horrible things into his mind every night, Hux would struggle to believe any contradictory statements as well. In an attempt to assure Ben of the truth, Hux used his free hand to cup Ben’s cheek and turn Ben to face him. “I missed you a lot.”

 

Ben weathered his bottom lip but didn’t look away, uncertainty still in his gaze. “But Snoke…”

 

“It’s _your_ life, Ben,” Hux told him. “Not Snoke’s or your parents’. _You_ get to decide what you want and who you want to be.” Hux hoped that he would somehow be included in that, but he didn’t say this aloud to avoid putting extra pressure on Ben.

 

“I don’t know who I want to be but I know what I want,” Ben said. His voice was becoming stronger and Hux leaned in.

 

“What’s that?”

 

For the first time, Ben smiled. “For you to kiss me.”

 

Hux’s heart leapt in his chest with happiness and excitement and nerves, all jumbled up into a mess of energy and anticipation. Ben had given permission but Hux still wanted to be cautious. He didn’t want to push Ben and make him uncomfortable or regret this. Hux’s hand was still cupping Ben’s cheek and he brushed his thumb along Ben’s cheekbone. “You’re sure?”

 

Ben tilted his face into Hux’s hand slightly, still smiling. “Yes.”

 

Hux shifted his body a little closer to Ben in the middle of the bed and then leaned in. Hux’s gaze flickered between Ben’s eyes and his lips, which were parted slightly, and he felt dizzy with desire. Hux had wanted this even if he couldn’t fully explain it and when his lips finally brushed Ben’s, Hux didn’t bother trying to silence his moan of contentment. Ben had no experience with this but he pressed his lips back against Hux’s to mimic the pressure on his lips.

 

Hux disentangled their fingers and slid his second hand to the back of Ben’s neck, cradling Ben’s head and tilting it at an angle so that their lips slotted together more solidly. Ben’s hands reached for Hux, one holding Hux’s shoulder and the other finding his waist to keep him close. Hux started with a light, lingering kiss, but when he leaned away and Ben whispered “ _more_ ”, Hux wasn’t going to argue.

 

Taking it slow, Hux gently kissed Ben until he started to get an idea of the movements to try imitating it. The kiss was awkward for a minute but then they found a rhythm and Hux felt his heart starting to race. It felt so good to be kissing Ben, to be cupping his face and feeling Ben’s hands grasping at him in return. Hux deepened the kiss and relished in Ben’s pleased moan, both of them pressing closer into each other’s personal space.

 

Only when Hux felt his cock beginning to swell in his pyjama pants did he pull away, though reluctantly. Ben leaned forward, trying to chase Hux’s retreating lips, and then his eyes opened. “Why did you stop?”

 

“Because otherwise I’m going to jump you and that doesn’t exactly prove my point that I’m not just using you for sex, does it?” Hux said and realized for the first time that he was a little breathless. He continued on anyway. “I don’t want you worrying about that.”

 

Ben’s hands were still clutching at Hux. “I want to do more with you though,” he said with a pout.

 

Hux tried to not get distracted by those large lips he wanted to taste again. “We will,” he promised, and he stole a quick kiss because he could. “Another time.”

 

“Will you sleep here at least?” Ben requested. “I feel safer when you’re near me.”

 

Hux had to agree; the sense of danger was entirely gone now. And Hux knew that his parents never wandered to this side of the house so there would be no chance of getting caught and no reason to say no. “As long as we actually sleep,” Hux joked even though he still wanted to pin and strip Ben bare. Hux figured Ben could read the desire on his face and knew that Hux wasn’t rejecting him; instead he was just proving a point.

 

Ben nodded his agreement and slid back down under the covers while Hux moved under the covers beside him. Hux startled slightly when Ben shifted closer and spooned him from behind, but it felt good with the way Ben was holding him so close. After a minute Hux relaxed into the embrace and released a contented sigh. Despite Ben’s earlier nightmare, Ben’s breathing slowed as he drifted off to sleep quickly, and it was only a few more minutes before Hux joined him.

 

#

 

The following morning was awkward yet pleasant. Hux woke to an alarm that wasn’t his, and yawned and stretched while Ben cursed and reached over to slam a hand onto the chronometer to shut it off. After that Ben curled back around Hux fully and nuzzled his face against Hux’s neck, breathing him in and releasing little huffed noises of contentment. Hux remained in place for a few minutes, soaking in the newness of the situation and the warmth of Ben’s body, and then disentangled their limbs.

 

When Ben complained, Hux reminded Ben that they couldn’t be late or else his parents would come searching for them. With that in mind Hux snuck back into his own room quickly to wash up and get dressed as quickly as he could when he realized Ben set his alarm later than Hux usually did. Hux was feeling a bit frazzled when he stepped out of his room and found Ben leaning against the wall waiting for him and Hux approached him slowly.

 

Ben gave Hux a shy smile and Hux returned it but they kept their distance as they walked down the stairs to get breakfast. There was so much running through Hux’s head that he remained relatively silent while eating and in the car, though he supposed they couldn’t exactly talk openly about the night before with other people around anyway.

 

Hux was happy that he had finally gotten to kiss Ben, and that Ben had been receptive to the attention. He also wanted to do much more with Ben, ranging from innocent to highly filthy in nature. Hux wanted to share a bed with Ben again in the hope that the younger man would be spared from further nightmares about this ‘ _Snoke_ ’. Hux also wanted to teach Ben everything else there was to do in a bed besides sleep.

 

At the same time, Hux knew they had to be careful when in public. In the house even if Hux’s parents weren’t around, servants often were, and Hux didn’t even want to think about the repercussions if his father found out his sexual preferences. School posed the same issue – there were enough students and teachers looking for an in with Brendol that they would be more than happy to inform him that Hux and Ben were a little too close or touchy during the day.

 

The only time they would be able to be close and explore what they had agreed to start would be in the privacy of their rooms, and ideally late in the evening when there was no chance of Hux’s parents making an unexpected visit. Would Ben understand and be okay with their relationship being so secretive? Ben was already uncertain enough with these lies being whispered in his head at night… Hux didn’t want to perpetuate that by making Ben think he was ashamed of them being together, or piss Ben off.

 

The day dragged by with agonizing slowness. Ben was always so close, whether it was sitting at the desk behind Hux or brushing their shoulders together at their lockers, and yet Hux couldn’t talk or act on everything buzzing in his brain. By lunch time Hux just wanted for them to be home so they could go to one of their rooms and be alone together without potentially prying eyes and ears.

 

Ben was unusually quiet as well while they sat across from one another in the cafeteria eating, which only added to Hux’s worries. Suddenly the idea came to Hux that even if they couldn’t converse openly, he could still communicate his thoughts to Ben. “Can you read my mind right now?” Hux asked under his breath, not wanting anyone to overhear.

 

Ben raised a confused eyebrow and then realization struck him too. He nodded and then closed his eyes, focusing. A moment later Hux felt a presence brush against his forehead and he tried to visualize opening a set of doors, welcoming Ben into his mind. Hux pushed all of his worries and wants to the forefront of his brain, trying to project them. The sounds and bustle of the cafeteria fell into the background as Hux tried to focus on the energy uniquely _Ben_ within him. When Ben was done sifting through the thoughts Hux felt a gentle wave of warmth, understanding, and playful impatience for them to get back to bed.

 

The rest of the day was easier after that. All afternoon they were outside at the shooting range so there were no opportunities for ‘accidental’ physical contact between classmates, and it was an activity Hux enjoyed. Then it was just a quiet car ride home before Ben and Hux were able to excuse themselves and disappear into Ben’s room under the pretence of completing their homework.

 

Instead, as soon as the door was closed and their school bags were on the floor Hux pinned Ben to the door and kissed him. Ben moaned and clung to Hux while doing his best to kiss back, willingness filling in for lack of experience. Hux knew they couldn’t start anything right then since they would be expected for dinner soon enough. There was no way they could get off in time without rushing and Hux didn’t want Ben’s first experiences to be rushed.

 

After a minute of deep kissing Hux eased off, pressing softer kisses to Ben’s lips and then jaw. Ben keened under the attention and tugged at Hux’s hips, trying to find the friction they had shared in the refresher. Regretfully Hux pulled back, putting more space between them and detaching his lips from Ben’s addicting skin. The growl Ben released had Hux shivering and wanting to lean in close again but he restrained himself, barely.

 

“Why did you stop?” Ben grumbled, eyes searching and uncertain.

 

Hux cupped Ben’s face between his palms and gave what he hoped was a reassuring kiss. “Because if we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to stop. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not interested in going to dinner with my parents while I’m noticeably hard in my pants.”

 

Ben blushed and shook his head, chuckling. “I’d rather not.”

 

“And,” Hux added, smirking now, “I’m going to take my time with you.”

 

Ben groaned and rolled his eyes. “You talking and looking at me like that isn’t fair.”

 

“I’ll make it up to you,” Hux said, surprised at his own sense of playfulness but enjoying the reactions it evoked from Ben.

 

“When?” Ben asked a little breathlessly.

 

“Tonight,” Hux promised. They shared one last kiss to seal the deal and then forced themselves to separate. They distracted themselves with actually completing their homework in order to get their bodies to relax and their erections to wane before they were expected at the dinner table, and Hux was glad that they both had a political upbringing to master a neutral facial expression when they walked down the stairs side by side.

 

#

 

Hux waited until he was certain everyone else in the estate was asleep before slipping out of his room to go to Ben’s. The next morning was the start of their weekend so they didn’t need to worry about waking up for school, though to be safe Hux still planned to set an alarm for the morning. There was no way he would be able to explain if one of his parents went to his room in the morning, expecting him to be awake, and found the bed empty.

 

Ben was in bed under the covers but lifted his head when Hux snuck into the room and closed the door. Hux immediately walked over to the bed and slipped under the covers as well, setting the condom and lube he had brought with him on one of the spare pillows. Ben’s eyes considered the items at the same time as his arms wound around Hux’s frame and reeled him in closer. “Are you going to fuck me?” Ben breathed the question in Hux’s ear.

 

Hux felt his cock twitch at that alone. “I don’t know if we’ll last long enough for that but I’m going to make you feel good.”

 

Ben nodded and pulled Hux into a kiss that had Hux moaning. It didn’t matter that Ben was still an amateur at this; the way he kissed Hux like it was the only thing in the universe he wanted made Hux overwhelmed with affection and heat. Hux indulged Ben’s questing lips and rolled on top of him, deepening the kiss until he eventually brushed his tongue into Ben’s mouth. Ben’s hips rose against Hux and they both groaned at the friction of their erections swelling against each other.

 

Hux didn’t complain when Ben’s hands gripped his hips tightly to hold him close, Hux silently acknowledging the thought that he wouldn’t mind submitting to Ben if he became dominant after learning more about this. For now he was happy to teach Ben everything he knew and explore things he didn’t but was always curious about. When they were too out of breath to kiss, Hux trailed his lips and teeth along Ben’s jaw and down his neck, his hands groping Ben’s shoulders and biceps and chest after pushing the blankets away.

 

As Hux slid down Ben’s body he initially got a noise of complaint when Ben lost the friction against his dick, but that was quickly cut off by a sharp intake of breath when Hux pressed a kiss against the waistband of Ben’s underwear. “Can I take these off?” Hux asked quietly, looking up the length of Ben’s body. It wasn’t that he feared Ben would reject him but he wanted Ben to feel like he was in control of this too.

 

Eyes hooded and lips slightly parted, Ben nodded immediately. Hux smirked and hooked his fingers beneath the elastic waistband, tugging the underwear over the swell of Ben’s ass and down his thighs. Ben was already hard and leaking and Hux immediately took Ben into his hand and squeezed. He was lying between Ben’s legs so he felt the way they twitched and Ben’s knees buckled inward against Hux’s sides at the initial shock of pleasure, the instinctive movements paired with a tiny gasp.

 

Hux had only done this a few times and he wasn’t exactly skilled, but he at least knew to avoid teeth and to be careful of his gag reflex. He stroked Ben a few times, catching a bead of precome on the pad of his thumb. Their eyes met and held for a moment before Ben exhaled shakily and rested his head back against the pillows. “Tell me if you don’t like anything,” Hux told him and then lowered his mouth to carefully suck Ben in.

 

Ben groaned, louder this time, and his hand immediately shot down to lightly grasp Hux’s hair. “Kriff, Hux.”

 

Pleased by Ben’s reaction, Hux hollowed his cheeks and did his best to slide his lips down as much of Ben’s length as he could manage. He could only take about two inches before his gag reflex started reacting, but Hux wrapped his hand around the rest of Ben’s cock to offer more heat and friction. Ben seemed unable to control himself, squirming and panting on the mattress as he spilled precome onto Hux’s tongue.

 

It was obvious that even though Hux wasn’t an expert, Ben wasn’t going to last long. Wanting to make it as good for Ben as he could, Hux used his free hand to cup Ben’s balls and roll them against his palm lightly. Instantly Ben tensed up and pressed a hand against his mouth, muffling the loud moan that escaped him. There were so many other things Hux wanted to do to and with Ben, but there would be time for that later. For now Hux was focused on making Ben shake with pleasure.

 

Hux doubled his efforts, pressing his tongue against the underside of Ben’s length while he sucked and both hands moving firmly. Ben’s legs were bowed inward, holding Hux in place, and Hux could feel how dishevelled his hair had gotten from Ben’s fingers. Ben’s other hand was still over his mouth, quieting the near-constant curses and moans escaping him. It only took another minute of stimulation before Ben started to truly fidget and tug at Hux’s hair in clear warning.

 

Hux appreciated the heads up but had already decided he wanted to try swallowing. He kept his mouth and hands in place and hummed around Ben’s erection, both in acknowledgement and to spur him on. From between Ben’s fingers a broken sob escaped as his hips bucked up. The first burst of come against the roof of his mouth had Hux flinching even though he was anticipating it, but then he relaxed and took the rest of his mouthful, swallowing around Ben until he was finished and sated.

 

Once he was sure Ben was done, Hux removed his mouth and sat back on his legs. He dragged the back of one hand against his lips, wiping away any lingering fluid he had missed. Then he noticed tear streaks on Ben’s cheeks and leaned forward, concerned. “Are you okay?”

 

Without answering Ben dragged Hux into a deep, needy kiss. Hux could feel the way Ben’s body was still trembling with the aftershock of his orgasm and Hux wrapped himself around Ben protectively as he returned the kiss. Hux did his best to ignore the ache of arousal as his erection pressed against Ben’s hip, instead focusing on kissing Ben until he finally calmed down.

 

“That was incredible,” Ben said at last when their kiss broke apart. Hux smirked at the praise, pleased with his work. “What about you though?”

 

He knew Ben would be too sensitive to prep for anal sex and Hux was okay with that; he already had been wondering if it was too fast to have intercourse. Hux had another idea in mind though, one that he had been fantasizing about but wouldn’t force Ben to do unless he felt comfortable with it. “I have an idea,” Hux murmured, hands gripping Ben’s hips and beginning to tug. “Get onto your hands and knees.”

 

“Hux, I—” Ben hesitated, eyes wide and bottom lip pinched between his teeth. “I’m not sure…”

 

“We won’t until you’re ready,” Hux stated firmly, though he continued to pull lightly at Ben’s hip. “But if you trust me, I had something else in mind.”

 

At the mention of trust Ben’s body relaxed and he rolled onto his stomach before lifting up onto his hands and knees. Hux grabbed the supplies he had brought with him, ripping open the condom wrapper and quickly rolling it onto his throbbing erection. Then he squeezed some lube into a palm and coated himself liberally, doing his best to avoid riling himself up more.

 

“Hux I—I _do_ want you to fuck me,” Ben said, though his voice wavered and he sounded unsure.

 

“When you say that without sounding terrified, I will,” Hux promised. To show that he meant it and wasn’t just teasing, he pressed a kiss to the skin of Ben’s lower back where he could see the knobs of his spine. “For now, squeeze your thighs together.”

 

Ben did as he was told, looking back over his shoulder and then letting his head fall between his shoulders. Hux placed one hand on Ben’s hip and used his other hand to guide his cock between Ben’s thighs just below his balls. With the lube it was an easy glide when Hux thrust forward, and he moved to hold Ben in place with both hands on his hips. It wasn’t as tight as Ben’s ass would be but the friction was good and the heat was amazing. Immediately Hux started a quick pace, fucking between Ben’s thighs as pleasure coiled in his gut.

 

Once Ben understood what Hux was doing, Ben started to rut back. It gave Hux’s thrusts more force as he ground against Ben’s sweaty skin and Hux cursed under his breath, wishing this feeling could last forever but knowing he was already fraying at the edges. It felt too good having Ben’s body against his at last, and to know that all of this was new to Ben but that he wanted to share it all with Hux anyway.

 

When Hux came it was with a shuddering moan of Ben’s name. His hips jerked forward roughly and his fingers dug into Ben’s skin, holding him in place as Hux worked through his orgasm. It took longer than usual for Hux’s body to finish but when it did he collapsed forward, chest to Ben’s back who supported his weight until Hux regained enough sense to roll over onto the mattress. Although all Hux wanted to do was pass out, he tied off the condom and reached over for the tissue box, wiping away the mess of lube he had left coating Ben’s thighs after Ben had carefully moved onto his back.

 

At last when they were both clean Hux curled up against Ben and pulled him into a tired, contented kiss. Ben returned it and wrapped an arm around him, holding him close. “That was really good,” Ben whispered when they broke apart to yawn.

 

Hux smiled, nodding against Ben’s chest where his tired head had come to rest. “I’m really glad you came to stay here,” he confessed quietly.

 

“I am too,” Ben agreed, hugging him closer until they were both asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Hux and Ben continued to explore their relationship, both physically and emotionally, but kept things secret. Even though Hux and Ben had different opinions on maintaining an “image”, Ben respected Hux’s genuine fear that his father would disown him, regardless of what other possible repercussions there might be if someone found out about them. It helped that Ben was a private individual anyway, so they were both happy to keep their intimate and affectionate moments to the privacy of their rooms in the evenings.

 

As far as they could tell no one suspected that they were anything more than close friends; no one gave them looks or said anything questioning to either of them. It wasn’t that Hux was ashamed of Ben; the exact opposite, in fact. He didn’t think there was anyone better suited for him than Ben and vice versa, and he felt that they could do great things together. But in the same way that Hux said it was easier to let students at school try to win him over, he found it simpler to avoid any potential issues altogether. The path of least resistance.

 

Between school and their budding relationship, time flew and in what felt like no time at all it was the week before holiday break. Over dinner one evening it was Hux’s mother who commented on how happy Ben seemed to be the last month, and asked if he had thought more about his plans to return home or complete another semester on Arkanis.

 

Ben caught Hux’s gaze for an instant before he turned back to Hux’s parents. “I would really prefer to stay, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.” Hux let out a silent sigh of relief and tried to tame his smile from becoming more than polite and slightly warm. “And I was thinking at the end of the school year and Armitage’s graduation, on behalf of my family I would like to invite Hux to spend some time visiting my planet in return.”

 

Hux was so surprised he nearly choked on his water as he took a sip. He quickly set his glass back down on the table and cleared his throat as subtly as possible. Neither of his parents had said anything and Hux snuck a glance at both of them to gauge their reactions. Evangeline looked surprised though she was smiling but Brendol was frowning slightly.

 

“That’s quite generous,” Brendol began carefully. No doubt he was weighing the pros and cons of such an offer. “Though I am not certain when Armitage will receive his first job offers – some begin immediately after graduation and—”

 

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Evangeline spoke over Brendol, smiling broadly from Ben to Hux and back.

 

“Yes, well,” Brendol cleared his throat gruffly. “There will be time to discuss it further nearing the end of the second semester. For now, Ben, will you be staying here for the holidays or returning home for a visit?”

 

Ben seemed slightly caught off guard by the question. “I hadn’t really thought about it honestly.”

 

“You can call your parents after dinner and then update us,” Evangeline suggested kindly, still smiling. Ben agreed and conversation moved to other topics. Once dinner was wrapped up Hux and Ben walked back to their rooms together, though Hux left Ben at his door to give him privacy while he called his parents to discuss the upcoming holidays.

 

A few minutes later there was a knock on Hux’s door and Ben stepped into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Hux could tell by Ben’s expression that he wasn’t happy with the phone call and Hux set aside the book he had been reading. “What’s wrong?”

 

“My parents said I have to come home for the holidays.” Ben sat heavily on the couch beside Hux, their knees bumping. “But I want to stay here with you.”

 

“It’ll be less than two weeks apart,” Hux reasoned, trying to put on a brave face. Regardless, his hand quietly reached over to grasp Ben’s own. “Then we’ll have another whole semester together.”

 

“And then what?” Ben sighed, still looking forlorn. He squeezed Hux’s hand. “I don’t want to be without you, Hux,” Ben confessed softly. “I’ve been so much happier with the way you treat me and make me feel…” Ben swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I don’t want to lose that.”

 

Hux touched a hand to Ben’s jaw to turn his face into a soft kiss. They still had to be careful in case Hux’s parents came to visit their rooms, but Hux was certain they would hear the approaching footfalls early enough to put space between them if necessary. For now they were safe and Ben leaned into the kiss, seeking any reassurance Hux could give. “I’m not going anywhere,” Hux promised when the kiss ended. “And as soon as I graduate and can be free of my father’s influence we’ll have more options.”

 

“Promise?” Ben whispered against Hux’s lips.

 

“I promise,” Hux said, and kissed Ben again.

 

#

 

It was difficult to act as a friend only, rather than as a pining lover, when Hux and his family dropped Ben at the shuttle that would take him home. With his parents watching closely, Hux only risked a brief, loose hug even though he wanted to stay in Ben’s arms forever. Ben wasn’t as good at hiding his emotions and his sad gaze lingered after their hug, but he only wished the Hux family a warm farewell and thank you before dragging his suitcase onto the shuttle.

 

During the car ride back to the house Hux reminded himself that it would only be a few hours until he could talk to Ben again. They had agreed to stay in daily contact using their datapads, and Ben’s trip should only take him approximately four hours. By the time Hux was done lunch he should be able to see Ben’s face and hear his voice again. It wouldn’t be the same as feeling his body heat or falling asleep in Ben’s arms, but it would sustain them during their time apart. And Hux also reassured himself that time would pass quickly and then Ben would be back.

 

Despite all this logic, Hux’s heart still ached in his chest when they arrived back at the house. Hux had been accustomed to having a lot of space and solitude growing up but now as he walked to his room and sat down alone, he felt bereft. And Hux quickly realized it wasn’t just the intimate moments he shared with Ben that he missed. Sure, it felt great exploring their bodies together with Ben. But what Hux truly missed was Ben’s company and his physical presence. Even if they were both working silently on their homework, Hux just liked that Ben was… _there_.

 

_Just a few more hours_ , Hux told himself, and tried to find a book or a game that would keep him busy and distracted. He had limited success, glancing over at his datapad every few minutes to see if there was an incoming message, but the time did inevitably drag by. However, no message from Ben arrived. By lunch time Hux was feeling impatient, and by dinner he was so anxious his appetite was gone. He prodded at his meal with disinterest, taking bites only when his father sent him a warning look.

 

“Did Ben get home safely?” Hux’s mother asked eventually.

 

The bite of dinner Hux had just swallowed felt like it got lodged in his throat. After he swallowed some water Hux answered. “I don’t know. He hasn’t messaged me.”

 

Perhaps he hadn’t done a great job of masking his sense of longing because Brendol sent him a searching look and Evangeline frowned with sympathy. “I’m sure he’s busy catching up with his family,” she told him. “He has been away for a long time.”

 

“I suppose,” Hux agreed, and forced himself to eat another bite of food. His mother’s argument made sense, but it did nothing to quell the building concern burning a hole in the pit of Hux’s stomach.

 

After dinner Hux sent a few messages to Ben but received no answer. In bed alone, Hux tossed and turned, restless and unable to sleep. He started to worry about anything and everything, ideas popping into Hux’s head that ranged from plausible to ludicrous. Maybe Ben was just catching up with his family. Maybe Ben had told his family about them and his family disapproved, intending to keep them apart. Maybe Ben had realized he didn’t actually like Hux at all, now that he was back home and there was distance between them. Maybe the shuttle had crashed. Maybe…

 

Hux barely slept that night and before he was ready, a new day was dawning. His datapad was dark and silent, none of Hux’s messages returned by Ben during the night. Between the lack of sleep and worry Hux felt a migraine coming on and he stayed in bed, not bothering to get up for breakfast when he already felt sick to his stomach.

 

It was shortly after lunch when there was a soft knock at the door and Evangeline let herself into Hux’s bedroom. Hux was still curled up under the blankets, his datapad settled on the mattress in front of him so he would see if it lit up with an incoming message. Hux glanced at his mother when she sat on the edge of the bed but didn’t say anything, unsure of why she was there.

 

“You need to eat, Armitage,” she used her ‘mother knows best’ tone of voice – warm but firm.

 

“I’m not hungry,” Hux insisted tiredly.

 

Evangeline brushed her fingers through Hux’s hair. They weren’t a family of physical affection so it had been years since she had done this, and Hux found it surprisingly comforting. Suddenly he had to fight back the urge to cry. He just wanted to know that Ben was alright, even if Ben had decided their relationship was a mistake or he wasn’t willing to put up with Hux wanting to keep the relationship secret anymore.

 

“You need to eat,” his mother said again. “You have a shuttle to catch.”

 

That caught his attention and Hux lifted his head slightly. “What do you mean?”

 

“Your father and I wanted to ensure Ben’s safe arrival so I contacted Senator Leia this morning. He arrived,” Evangeline explained, “but as soon as he stepped off the shuttle he collapsed.”

 

Hux sat up fully in bed, eyes wide and heart racing with fear. “Is he okay?”

 

Evangeline grimaced. “They don’t know,” she told her son honestly, tucking her hands in her lap. “He seems to be in some form of coma, unresponsive. Initially Leia seemed hesitant about providing more details but then her brother intervened and insisted you come. He thinks you can help Ben recover.” Hux dropped his gaze, fighting a blush. He saw the way his mother was looking at him, like she knew or at least suspected. “I am in full agreement so I have arranged a shuttle for you this afternoon.”

 

“You… you agree?” Hux asked hesitantly.

 

Evangeline ruffled his hair the way she did when he was a boy, and then pulled him into an enveloping hug. “I approve,” she answered, and Hux fought down tears again. “As far as your father knows, you are going to assist for political reasons. Let me work on… broadening his perspective while you’re away. I think you’ll find I can be quite persuasive.”

 

Hux considered his mother in a new light, still surprised but relieved and grateful as well. “Thank you,” he murmured and hugged her tighter before letting go.

 

She kissed his forehead and then stood from the bed. “You’re welcome,” she smiled. “Now hurry up and get some clothes packed. The car leaves right after you’ve eaten lunch.”

 

After she left Hux rushed out of bed and into the shower before stuffing a bag full of items he would need. Hux had no idea how long he would be away; he only knew that he would refuse to leave Ben’s bedside until he woke up. The thought of Ben unconscious and… injured? Sick? Had Hux’s stomach cramping with worry but he forced himself to eat lunch anyway to appease his mother before he got into the car and then the shuttle.

 

The travel from Arkanis to Ben’s home planet felt like it took an age and Hux ended up pacing in the small shuttle until he completely wore himself out. Eventually he had to lie down on a small bunk available for passengers and ended up napping for the last two hours of the trip, which was a relief since he doubted he would get more sleep anytime soon.

 

When the shuttle landed and the door opened, Senator Leia was there waiting for him. Hux was surprised, having expected someone with such political influence to send someone else to greet him. It was when they were in the back of the vehicle taking them to Ben’s home that Hux realized Leia had intentionally set this up so that she could interrogate him during the drive. She was giving Hux a hard stare and it was only the upbringing from his father that kept Hux from fidgeting.

 

At last she asked, “Do you love my son?”

 

Hux blanched at the question. There was no doubt in Hux’s mind that the affections he felt for Ben had grown into love, but they had never discussed it or said the words openly. Hux’s bigger fear was that if he answered honestly, Leia would send him away, word would get back to Brendol, and Hux would never see Ben again _and_ get disowned all at the same time. But Hux could also tell that Leia had no intention of letting Hux out of the car until he answered the question, and with Ben unconscious in a coma, all Hux could do was answer her.

 

“I do, yes.” Despite his fears, Hux’s voice did not waver.

 

Leia pursed her lips and then sighed quietly. She didn’t seem angry, just… tired. Hux remembered that while he was worrying about his lover, Leia was worrying about her only son. “I figured as much. It’s why I allowed my brother Luke to talk me into letting you come. I really hope Luke is right and you can help Ben.”

 

Leia looked out the window as they approached the estate and Hux felt his heart beginning to race with the knowledge that Ben was so close, and yet unwell. “I do too,” he said, barely containing his impatience to get to Ben’s side.

 

The car rolled to a stop. Hux grabbed his small travel bag and followed at Leia’s heels into the house and down a winding set of hallways. Everything was beautifully designed and was even statelier than Brendol had their house arranged. It was only when they passed through a set of double wooden doors that the hallway and décor became more intimate and familiar; clearly they were in the private wing for family members.

 

The first thing Hux noticed when he was led into Ben’s bedroom was how heavy the air felt. There was a heated stillness hanging in the room, made tense with silence. An older man was half-seated on the edge of the large canopy bed, who Hux assumed was Leia’s brother she had mentioned. His hand was resting over Ben’s forehead and eyes and he had an expression of deep concentration. Hux saw how small and frail Ben looked unconscious in bed and Hux’s heart clenched with worry, but he didn’t want to interrupt or mess anything up.

 

However, as soon as he had set his bag down and walked fully in the room Ben shifted beneath the sheets and groaned. Hux took a half-step forward eagerly, but then he hesitated when Luke winced as though in pain. His hands still rested over Ben’s eyes. After a moment Ben settled again, still unconscious, and Luke looked over at him and Leia standing at his side. “You’re the one?”

 

Hux wasn’t sure how to answer that but Leia did. “He is.”

 

Luke nodded and waved Hux closer to the bed. “Did my nephew ever mention feeling unwell while he was staying with you?” Luke asked.

 

Hux’s gaze lingered on Ben, taking in the pallor of his skin and the downward curl of his lips. It had only been a day since they had been together, Ben happy and healthy, and now he looked sick and fragile. Hux forced himself to focus on Luke who was watching him closely. “He had nightmares,” Hux offered after a moment of thought.

 

Luke hummed in thought. “Did he tell you what they were about?”

 

As if Hux could forget. “He talked about a voice,” Hux explained, frowning. His presence had helped Ben sleep at night but was there something more he could’ve done to help? “He said there was a presence through the Force telling him bad things.”

 

Luke was studying him intently. “But he didn’t get worse?”

 

Hux retraced his memory. “He did for a while when we were in a fight. I would wake up most nights somehow knowing he was having a nightmare and he looked exhausted. But when we made up, the nightmares seemed to fade.” Hux was acutely aware of Ben’s mother standing in the room and he cleared his throat. “Um, physical closeness seemed to help so we’d share a bed some nights. On those nights there were no nightmares.”

 

Hux knew he was blushing; he could feel the heat in his cheeks and ears. But Leia didn’t throw him out and Luke was smiling for the first time, looking like he had found a missing puzzle piece. “Ah, so my assumption was correct. I believe your presence kept Ben safe while he was with you, and he became vulnerable when you were separated,” Luke explained.

 

“Can we help him now?” Hux wondered, wishing only to see Ben’s eyes and smile again. Leia had moved closer to stand beside Hux, looking over her unconscious son.

 

“There are some creatures of immense, dark power, and Snoke is one of them,” Luke explained. The name was familiar to Hux from the one time Ben had mentioned it back on Arkanis. “When Ben was younger I sensed darkness in him but I assumed it was the remnants of his grandfather; I should have paid closer attention. Snoke has been trying to worm his way into Ben’s mind and take him over. I am using my own powers to hold him at bay from succeeding fully, but I cannot push him out of my nephew’s head entirely.”

 

Hux weathered his bottom lip, wishing he was more educated about the Force. “What can I do? If my presence helped on Arkanis can we do the same here?”

 

“I’m hoping we can, but it will be dangerous, especially since you are not trained in the Force to fight on your own,” Luke said, looking back at Ben. “I will take your hand to channel my strength through you as a form of protection, and then get you to replace my hand over Ben’s eyes. You will focus on his presence and try to pull him out of the darkness. The darkness will fight you. Do you understand?”

 

Whatever risks he faced would be worth it if this succeeded. “I do, and I’m ready.”

 

Hux sat on the bed beside Ben’s hip and reached both hands out. One hand was clasped by Luke’s larger one, and Hux’s other hand hovered an inch above Luke’s hand and Ben’s eyes. Their eyes met, Luke gave him a nod, and then he withdrew his hand. Instantly Hux lowered his palm over Ben’s closed eyes and tried to mentally seek out the presence he had learned to associate with Ben whenever Ben read his mind.

 

As Hux closed his eyes and focused it felt like he was being sucked down into a black, unfriendly cloud. Hux became unaware of the room and people around him and instead only felt a sharp wind buffering against him, trying to push him away. Distantly he was aware of someone squeezing his hand and some of the wind was held at bay, though not all of it. Regardless, at the centre of all the turbulent darkness Hux sensed a glimmering light and Hux reached out for it.

 

Through the haze and shadows he envisioned Ben collapsed on the ground, hair and clothes yanked violently to and fro by the wind. It looked as though the shadows surrounding them had manifested into claws digging into Ben’s back and immediately Hux rushed forward. It was impossible to pull Ben away but when Hux steeled his courage and grabbed at the claws directly, there was a burst of light and the shadows receded with a screech.

 

Warily Hux reached for Ben again who finally blinked his eyes open and lifted his head. There was a moment of disorientation before recognition flashed across Ben’s face and he stared at Hux with shock. “You’re here?” Ben sounded unsure, like Hux was an apparition created to fool him.

 

“I’m here,” Hux promised over an angry howl from the shadows. “And I’m never going to be apart from you again. I don’t care what anyone else thinks or says. But that means you also need to stop listening to this… this voice!” Hux was shouting now, struggling to be heard. A shadow loomed and suddenly swept down over them. Hux knew this was somehow in their minds but the sensation of talons cutting across his back felt very real and he cried out with pain.

 

The talons dug into his skin and muscle and tried to carry him away but Ben had grabbed Hux’s hand, holding him close. His free hand rose, palm facing the shadow, and a fiery projection shot from Ben’s skin to embed into the chest of the shadowy figure. “You will never enter my mind again,” Ben declared to the shadow which writhed and expanded as the flames spread. The darkness swept around them again, tearing at skin and clothes and stealing Hux’s ability to breathe; it was like he was deep underwater. But just when true panic started to mount in Hux’s chest, it became calm and silent and he opened his eyes.

 

He was back in Ben’s room – had never left, though it felt like he had been in another world entirely. Luke let go of his hand but still sat close and Leia hovered nearby, her hands clasped tightly together. Seconds after Hux opened his eyes Ben did the same, looking groggy and exhausted but safe. At last the tears came and Hux no longer had a reason or the energy to hold them at bay. They trailed down his cheeks as he leaned forward and kissed Ben solidly, sobbing with relief when Ben kissed him back.

 

They pulled apart only at the sound of a throat being cleared. Hux couldn’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed, too relieved that Ben was okay. Ben was blushing but also grinning and he pulled Hux forward to lie down beside him. Realizing how worn out he felt, Hux lay down willingly while Luke looked Ben over and asked him a few questions.

 

“How do you feel now? Can you still sense Snoke?”

 

“No,” Ben shook his head. “My head feels clear again, even though I’m exhausted.”

 

Luke nodded and hummed again. “We will need to work on your ability to shield your mind, and test the effects of Hux’s proximity at different distances apart, but for now you both need rest.”

 

“Armitage, I will contact your mother and tell her you are both safe,” Leia said.

 

Ben snickered at the name. “ _Armitage_.” Even though Ben had used the name in front of Hux's parents, he rarely managed to silence his giggle when he knew how much Hux disliked it.

 

Hux elbowed him to shut him up. “Thank you, Senator.”

 

He didn’t ask if they wanted him to leave Ben’s bed, hopeful. And after Luke and Leia both said “rest”, dimmed the lights and left the room, the silent question about whether he’d be allowed to stay was answered. Hux slipped fully under the blankets and pulled Ben to him, spooning him from behind as their bodies moulded together.

 

They breathed quietly in silence for a few minutes, soaking in the other’s heat and nearness. Then Ben spoke. “Hux.”

 

“What?”

 

“I want you to fuck me.” Ben’s voice was dozy, warm and certain. There was no more fear or uncertainty in the request and hearing the words ignited a small fire in Hux’s belly.

 

Still, they were both too tired to do anything right now so Hux chuckled and kissed the back of Ben’s neck. “I will, later.”

 

Too tired to protest, Ben slipped off to sleep and Hux followed shortly behind.

 

#

 

Hux had no concept of what time it was or how long had passed when he woke up later and the room was completely dark. For a second he wasn’t sure why he was awake, but then he felt the minute shifting of Ben’s ass rubbing against his groin. Hux was already half-hard in his pants from the friction. Unsure if Ben was awake or moving in his sleep, Hux moved a hand to Ben’s hip and squeezed lightly. The resulting moan answered his question and Hux nipped at the soft skin of Ben’s neck.

 

Ben cried out softly and Hux tightened his hold on Ben’s hip, tugging him back more forcefully against his swelling erection. “Impatient, aren’t you?”

 

“I want you inside me,” Ben said, not apologetic at all. “I wanted it before but especially now, after yesterday.” Yesterday implied that they had been asleep for longer than Hux had assumed.

 

Hux rocked his hips forward, grinding against Ben’s ass. “Will your family come in?”

 

“No,” Ben answered, already sounding breathless. “Everyone is asleep.”

 

“What about supplies?” Now they were both rocking against each other and with how good it felt, Hux had no intention of stopping.

 

Ben leaned away just long enough to pull a container of lube from his bedside table and set it on the pillows. “I don’t have any condoms,” Ben admitted. “But we’re both clean right?”

 

Hux kissed the back of Ben’s neck, excited and nervous all at once to share this with the boy he had fallen for. It felt important for Ben to know beforehand. “Hey Ben,” Hux whispered. “I love you.”

 

Ben stilled for an instant and then rolled over to straddle Hux, the blankets falling away. Hux could see Ben’s erection tenting his pants before Ben leaned down and kissed him, deep and needy, and moaned into his mouth. “I love you too. I love you too.”

 

They kissed eagerly for a few minutes, heat building between them. Almost immediately their hips began to rock together again and Hux reached down to tug at the waistband of Ben’s sleeping pants, pulling them down and over the swell of his ass. Then he grabbed the container of lube and coated two fingers, barely able to catch his breath before Ben kissed him again. While Ben was distracted with the locking of their lips, Hux gently pressed one lubed finger against his hole and pushed in slowly.

 

The kiss broke off as Ben sighed contently and rested his forehead against Hux’s shoulder. When Ben pushed his ass back, Hux took the hint and sank his finger deeper, carefully stretching him open and spreading lube. Hux slid his one finger in and out a few times and then added a second one, hesitating when he met resistance and Ben whined.

 

“Should I stop?” Hux questioned as he rubbed soothing circles with his free hand against Ben’s hip.

 

Ben lifted his head to glare down at Hux. “Don’t you dare stop.”

 

Hux kissed him and started adding a bit of pressure with his lubed fingers again. “Deep breaths,” he instructed, still trying to soothe Ben's discomfort with his free hand. Ben did as he was told and exhaled deep, even breaths and slowly Hux’s second finger inched in beside the first. Soon Ben’s exhales turned into pants and Hux could feel the wetness of Ben’s precome seeping through Hux’s shirt.

 

The third finger took even longer than the second one to get in, especially since Ben briefly begged for a break to avoid coming across Hux’s stomach. Eventually, with plenty of patience and more affectionate kisses, Hux had three fingers stuffed in Ben’s ass and while Ben still clenched around the intrusion, he was loose enough that he was no longer experiencing any pain.

 

At last Hux withdrew his fingers, pulled his own pants and underwear down haphazardly, and grabbed more lube. Ben rose onto his knees above him, giving Hux the space to spread lube over his own throbbing cock while watching with hungry eyes. Ben seemed to be enjoying the position so Hux kept one hand around his base and his other hand found Ben’s hip again. He lined himself up and then gently pulled Ben down onto his cock, allowing Ben and gravity to control the speed of penetration.

 

Ben went slow and although it drove Hux crazy, wanting to be fully inside Ben and moving, it felt so incredibly good. Ben was shaking and breathing hard by the time he was fully seated, and moaned loudly when Hux ground against his ass. The sight alone nearly had Hux climaxing, their bodies knotted together and Ben speared on his cock. As soon as Ben gave a nod of approval, indicating he was ready, Hux moved both hands to Ben’s thighs to lead the movement of Ben riding his cock while Hux thrust up to meet him each time.

 

Hux wished silently that neither of them were new to this because there was no way either of them could last long. The sensations were too powerful and raw, their movements filled with passion and need. Ben leaned forward onto his forearms and with the change in angle Hux started to thrust harder, fucking Ben’s hole open over and over through the excess lube.

 

Ben pulled at the collar of Hux’s shirt, kissing and nipping at the bared skin of Hux’s throat and collarbones. He was panting and moaning near-constantly, whole body rocking into each thrust. Ben was such an expressive lover and it just turned Hux on more, knowing he was the first person to be trusted to share such an intimate act with Ben. The thought had him pulling Ben up into a hungry, harsh kiss, and after only a few more thrusts Ben was crying out into his mouth and coming across Hux’s shirt.

 

As Ben toppled over the edge his whole body seized and then clenched rhythmically in time with his racing heart, effectively squeezing Hux’s length over and over as he continued to rut against Ben’s ass. They hadn’t even broken the kiss when Hux’s body arched and he too came with a cry, seed spilling deep within Ben’s burning body.

 

In the afterglow of their shared orgasms they both slumped back against the mattress, limbs twined and breathing harsh in the quiet, dark room. They were still partially clothed and sweat made the fabric cling to their overheated skin, though Hux knew they couldn’t risk stripping in case Ben’s family arrived without warning in the morning. Instead Ben grabbed a tissue box for them both to wipe up and then Hux threw the evidence into the toilet in the adjoined refresher.

 

Ben was still sprawled on the bed when Hux returned, eyes half-lidded as he yawned. “Did you mean what you said when you helped me fight off Snoke?” Ben asked him, words half-muffled by the blankets he was cocooned within.

 

“Of course I did,” Hux assured Ben as he settled under the covers and pulled Ben back into his arms.

 

“What about your father?”

 

Hux still experienced a clench of anxiety at the thought of how his father would react to Hux saying he loved Ben. But it wasn’t enough to make Hux consider giving up Ben just to avoid dealing with the situation. “I won’t be without you,” Hux stated firmly. “He’ll have to learn to accept that.”

 

Ben was on his back, weathering his lip. “When I turn eighteen in a few months will you come with me when I pick out my crystal for my lightsaber?” Ben requested after a moment of silence.

 

Hux knew there was still a lot about the Force he didn’t know and had to learn, but he recognized that this was not an insignificant request. He led Ben into a soft, slow kiss, their bodies pressed together. Then Hux said, “I would be honoured,” and Ben hugged him so tight it was almost hard to breathe. Eventually they settled back against the pillows, both yawning too much to even kiss. Hux spooned Ben from behind, laced their fingers together against Ben's stomach, and together they surrendered to sleep; comfortable, sated and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read my story, and an extra big hug to those who left a kudos and/or review to share your thoughts. I honestly wasn't sure if people would like this story so I'm very happy and relieved that I was wrong! Also, one final thank you to curlygingerbird for allowing me to write a story around their lovely artwork (which you can again find [here on curlygingerbird's blog](http://curlygingerbird.tumblr.com/post/151220903812/i-usually-only-post-these-on-twitter-but-here))

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on: [Tumblr](http://onewhositswiththeturtles.tumblr.com/), [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/onewhositswiththeturtles), or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/owswtt)


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